Be Here In Spirit

Homesick...literally.

2007-07-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

"In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him."

Well, well, well. Look who we have here. I write to you able to count the remaining German days using all toes and fingers. I've been spending much time lately volunteering with Young Life. Some of the pics are from the coffeehouse that we had two weekends ago, and all the fun mountain pics are from a hiking trip we did less than a week ago. It was incredible to be hiking through beautiful Austrian alps with four days and three nights worth of things on my back. I've never done anything like that before. I made it out to be less demanding than it truly was. I went out thinking, "This is just glorified walking." Wrong, Karen. Wrong.

We ended up not finishing the hike on Day 3 because the weather conditions were really poor for us, and we wanted to end on a good note with happy memories--not people getting hurt, being cold, or slipping all over the place. We took a bus back down to groundlevel in an hour's time, which seems nice. But if you're me, you are already prone to motion sickness; winding down mountains while simultaneously experiencing drastic changes in altitude doesn't make things any better! Long story short...the immediate effects were awful. Then two days after the fact--yesterday--I puked unexpectedly in public at the main train station. I was totally embarrassed. I was thankfully with someone I knew, but I suddenly had blurred vision and I remember saying, "I think I'm gonna pass out, I think I'm gonna pass out." I seriously thought the next time I woke up I'd be sitting in some weird german hospital and having no idea where I was. But that didn't happen. I had a real live guardian angel with me. I puked again when I got home, and remained restless until 1 am. You never feel more homesick than you do at times like those. That's like, in the handbook of being a child--you demand your mother be there, and when she can't be, it's a really tragic thing. I didn't exactly have food to eat, either, so I called on my darling Christianna and she came quickly with an assortment of goods in a bowl for me. I told her I felt like it was Halloween, and she said it was a healthy one :)

When I was enroute to Germany in September, I didn't know it. I mean, I knew it. But I didn't know it. I felt like someone had packed fake bags for me, said "Action!" and made me go through security. I was actually kind of laughing. I feel this same way as the end of the semester nears. I am quite overwhelmed and there's no good in worrying about it. One of the worst feelings in life is that of going through the motions. Whether it's school, religion, a relationship...you name it...I think one of the saddest happenings is to execute actions and not give a care about it. I can't feign interest in school right now, this is killing me.

In other news, I'm going to continue working on mosaics tomorrow at one of the most artistic homes I've ever been in, and I truly can't wait! I will miss my hostess to a great extent, but I find great joy in knowing I'll see her again. For certain.

Much love and maybe I'll see you soon.

Working On My BACHelors

2007-06-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

Good morning, good morning, and good morning!

This is the first weekend since I can remember (okay who am I kidding...I don't often forget dates...SINCE FEBRUARY) that there has been nothing on my calendar. It would seem fitting to go ahead and "take it easy", but alas my friends, this is the time I need to buckle down and propel myself forward into the next few weeks. I sort of feel like this year has been a TV episode, and as the end of any series approaches, so do I watch the end of my german life and I think..."What will this look like once it's all come together in the end?"

But perhaps it's more of a cliff hanger ending. Perhaps I will get to see the characters again.

You just.
Never.
Know.

I think my german abilities have come further than I want to admit, because I'm modest. While walking with a classmate to a cafe the other day, I realized myself saying, "I don't think this year is supposed to be one where you come back fluent. I mean, I'm not saying you couldn't. But I think it's sort of a make-or-break year. It's the end, or it's just the beginning."

Surely "fluent" is a relative term. Can I get by? YES. Can I order food? OF COURSE. Do I know when I'm being yelled at? OH YEAH BABY. But can I always say exactly what I desire to? No. Can I do this in English? No....I simply can not. So I will leave here in 39 days with the stronger foundation of this language. Apparently I'll also leave with a Bavarian accent--at least that's what a native in my Kommunikation class said. I said, REALLY? WHAT DOES IT SOUND LIKE? And he said you can't explain it...it just...is.

Oh...the things that you can't explain; the things that just simply "are". Those are the best things to me.

Last weekend I enjoyed four-day weekend with a trip to Leipzig--home of Bach (Composer J.S. Bach). I think when I write it out, people know whom it is I mean, but every time I tried to tell someone with my voice, I think they thought I had something in my throat. ("Who...?") I went with my beloved friend Christianna and my beloved sister met us there for a portion of our stay. It was lovely to be as far north as we were, but strange to recognize a sense of Munich pride. And not so much pride, as the way it sounds, but moreso just acknowledging that yes, things are different. We're so used to our "Grüß Gotts!" that it was strange to put the muzzle on them.

We heard lovely music and singing and enjoyed a concert in Bach's church, where he played the organ. It's always so strange when you're somewhere in life recalling historical events. The same experience, though it evoked drastically different feelings, happened while I went to Dachau last Tuesday with Lynn, Gillian, and Tina. Walking through the "shower room" was a horrible thing. To see myself as a unknowing worker, led to believe I was about to take a shower, then dying moments later. There, I recalled events. No, I wasn't there when it happened. But I was legitimately creeped out. And my inner being was grieved. And I just wanted to get out, and offer thanks that my life was not so.

You can tell in life when you are ready to move on from something. In the same way, you can tell when you're not quite ready. Lately I've been experiencing both, and to the extremes. Mostly it's a sense of, "Okay, I am done with this." I am done with dreading u-bahn rides, that a strange man will begin speaking to me. I am done with going grocery shopping and being hit on. Done with my submarine room. Done with cooking for one.

I am not done with the relationships. Some of the faces I see regularly. I am not done with Latte Macchiatos. I am not done with real bread baked that morning. I am not done with the personality of a city. I am not done with throwing German words into my English vocabulary.

Actually I'm not even done here yet.
....so what am I talking about?

Karen Gets Kicked Out of Church

2007-05-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

*if you haven't already read the disclaimer to the left, read it first, then proceed!*

Yes...it's true. I went on this bike tour last night with one of my friends. We had stopped at this one square and nearby is a Catholic church that she'd never been in. So in we go. (I should mention, yesterday was 84 degrees Fahrenheit.) Wait. (I should also mention, we also knew we'd be riding a bike around in this hot, sunny weather for four hours.)

I was just in the middle of telling my friend about my church history, when all of a sudden, a woman approached me abruptly out of no where, and told me (German) that I had to leave immediately (!) and that my clothing was inappropriate (!). I apologized on the spot and left quickly. But my reaction followed me out the door.

I was pretty taken aback. It was the most ironic thing, because last week I had seen this woman twice in two days, back-to-back, and she had stuck out to me. For some reason, I noticed her. And the places I noticed her were on S-Bahns that I normally NEVER ride; at times I NEVER ride. This was amazing to me...that in actuality, I had met this woman twice before. But then there was the dreadful third time--maybe they should say "Third time's the harm."

The irony isn't over yet. Lynn and I recently had a discussion about "exposed shoulders" in church. I guess I never realized that was a Catholic "rule". I don't agree with it, perhaps because I don't understand it. I remember hearing a few times growing up that God didn't care what I looked like at church, as long as I was there. Really? See, these days I believe that. I believe God wants my heart and He doesn't get all in a tizzy about the material covering my heart. I am not suggesting we enter a church looking like strippers, or in our birthday suits. I'm just saying...this is how people of faith get a bad wrap. People telling me what I wear is inappropriate. Well...guess what people. God is not some small mass of air that just squishes between the walls of one church, in one place. And when I left that church and took steps outside, guess who was there. Yep--the Big Guy. And when I kept along on the bike tour, guess who was there? And when I went and had a beer at our stop along the bike tour, guess who was sitting next to me?

Do you see where I'm going?
Do you see where He already is?

It's just another experience that confirms how everyone's just too busy worrying about other people. We complain we never have enough time, yet most of people's time is wastefully spent criticizing, worrying, planning, and complaining. I'm not excluding myself from this majority. I'm just saying...

-------

So, the bike tour was fine I guess.

Only two months left here and I have tons and tons to do. That's why I'm writing to you.

Fast Forwarding.

2007-05-12T05:28:00.000-07:00

I'm going to wake up soon. I know that soon, I'll be back on dry, familiar soil and sitting in traffic. And I know it's going to happen. I know that in two months, two weeks, I will wake up in my own bed again, see my face in mirrored-closet doors, and wonder what's for breakfast. Most of the day, I will forget my dream. And then at one instant, in one moment, in one familiar face and at the sight of one cup of coffee, the dream will come back to me. It will be a recurring one. And every day, in every moment, I might remember this ten-and-a-half month dream. No one ever said that dreams had to make sense. No one said they were all clear, all perfect, all happy. I don't think that dreams and nightmares are opposites. I just think nightmares are stories you're glad you've woken from. And you want to forget them.

I don't want to forget this dream. In fact, I won't allow it. Things won't have happened chronologically. Or logically, for that matter. Because that's not truth. Yet this truth won't make sense to anyone because they can't see all the faces I saw, and they can't remember the sequences that I did. I always think no one believes me whenever I retell my dreams. It's because they become sporadically clear, then sporadically opaque, in, well...a sporadic moment. And I lose credibility. "It happened, it really did." They don't want to hear about it anymore though. We never want to hear about dreams we haven't seen ourselves.

And so I will sit with these visuals. And I will relive them over and over in my head until I hear someone calling me out of a distant trance. And I will go to them, eager to share of my visions. And they will remind me, "I've just woken up, too."

twenty-one

2007-05-10T04:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm 21...! Weirrrrd. What's stranger is turning 21 in a foreign country, where there is nothing significant whatsoever about this age. Birthdays are just one of those things in life that only seem real with the proper ingredients: people who know you at a level where they remember your day + singing 'the song' + whoever means most to you at this juncture in time. Stir together to make your own celebration.

The day before my bday, my friends from church and I hung out at the Olympic pool, then went back to our friend's house where everyone but me and Adam (his bday is the 9th) prepared a special dinner for us. It was really lovely but we ate around 10:00 pm, so I was huuuuuuungry. They made a cherry-chocolate cake as well and that was deeee-lish. I got some awesome soap for the bathtub--that is to say...for "a" bathtub, which I do not have.

What was strange about the whole birthday-in-Germany thing, too, was that most people I see would WANT to know that Tuesday was my bday. But it's so incredibly odd for me to walk around exclaiming from rooftops, "I'M OLDER!!!! AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT!!! AND YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT!!!" Haha. For real. It's kind of this odd balance that you have to find. Because truly, we are all so busy with things that have to do with ourselves, that if we don't peep up about certain things, they just sort of get swept underneath the rug. Ohhh life--you're silly.

I was so excited to get tons of e-mails/calls/letters from my parents, family, friends, etc. I got some great mail! I felt loved <3 Uncle Ralph is in town, too, so it was fun to see him and Deborah and have my first glass of beer as a 21-year old with a man who quite simply loves beer and all food that is German.

These upcoming weeks are crazy. The next five consecutive weekends--potentially six--are occupied. My apologies in advance for delayed responses to communication! I'm trying to manage everything, yet simultaneously enjoy what remains in my experience abroad this year. Thanks for being understanding about this all...one thing I keep saying lately is that I wish I could combine all my worlds--with the food, the people, the conveniences--just a place where I get to pick all that. I do think that place exists, but I sure know I'm not the one who gets to make it happen.

Alles Liebe. Love you much.

The (Older) Testament

2007-05-05T05:40:00.000-07:00

Hellooooooooooooo. Last week was so eventful and I was really excited to write for you a week ago Thursday, but then the excitement continued and I wasn't awake enough to write when finally returned from a long day. And then the weekend came. And then the school week. So here I am with some news that may be old, or may be truly news.

Two of five classes I'm taking are at the LMU--aka the "real" German university here. Regardless of whether or not my classes are taken with JYM or LMU, all work, teaching, and thinking is done in German. But...I didn't want to leave here without having pushed myself to give a few LMU classes a go. The registration process kept me intimidated about the whole ordeal last semester, and even though they're really scary to go to, I've made the choice to make them part of my routine!

Thursdays are my busiest days. Before I dropped I replaced a JYM class with an LMU one though, my day would have begun with class at 8:30 am, and I wouldn't have been home until about 8:15 pm...and in that time between, I'd have had seven and a half hours of classes. That's. Just. Not. For. Me. I've never been good at sitting in classrooms, nor learning in them. I've always prefered the type of learning done while out and about; hands-on learning. It's more my style. But I guess it's not up to me.

So anywho, to shorten up my stories, I prayed my way through last Thursday, because I had to take a risk. Yes...an academic risk. You see, such things do exist. I didn't want to be in this art class anymore, but really wanted to challenge myself to take a communications course (since that's my other REAL major at Miami--wink) and the time conflicted with the art class. And we're only allowed to miss one class, per class, in an entire semester before our grade begins its descent outside of our control. So this meant I was using my FREE SKIP card to simply find out if this unknown class would even be right for me. If there were even places still left for me, or if the class was full. I just had no real idea. Not even an idea about where I was going. So yes, Thursday was a day of faith and that's why it's so memorable to me.

Anywho, I got to that COM class and once it finally began, they were speaking my language. Well, sort of. It felt amazing to hear words like "Zielgruppe"-TARGET GROUP, and a professor who understands the importance for a good title. I was totally thrilled to sit there and have this international-communications experience. The only challenge was the part when we had 30 minutes to come up with a theme, creative title, and written description of a crisis-catastrophe story. The art of strategic communication is something that develops over time; learning what power words are capable of. Knowing how to achieve alliteration and what sounds too trite. In English, this is my passion. In German this, however, is my severe weakness, as the language is my weakness! Hah. So there I sat with my dictionary. It was quite humbling. But I was getting excited nonetheless. I came up with, "Außer Atem und Außer Kontrolle"--Out of Breath and Out of Control. Strange to me though...an amazing title, caption, or wordplay in one language, once translated, can totally lose all power. Amazing.

Another thing that happened that day was that my first class of my religious history of the old testament, the professor went on and on, and on again, about Americans and their religions. He continued coming back to America in his lecture, saying that the problem we have is we are 'too' free. Mostly like...celebrities making up their own religions, because it's whatever they feel like, and then other people follow them. He said 94% of polled Americans, when asked if they believe in God, said 'yes'. He said the follow up question should have been, "Which one?" I just found the whole thing interesting. After class I felt I should introduce myself. Though terrified, I did it. Said I was an exchange student, blah blah blah. He asked where I was from, and ashamedly with a puppy-dog shame said..."aus Amerika..." and he says, "Where?" And I say, Chicago. And he says, OHHHHHH well I hope I didn't offend you! My theory: If anyone says that to you, ever--they already know they've said something they probably could have left unsaid.

But the most suprising thing about this class experience is the amount of old people in it. I'm talking...old. I'm talking hearing aids, an unusual amount of marked handicapped places, and more grey and white hair than I've ever seen in one classroom in my entire academic life. So this is a testament to the old. Testament means promise...or tribute...or proof. This is a tribute to those older folk, who love learning so dang much that they go to classes, even though they can't hear. But they are just so in love with knowing that nothing keeps them from it. That unlike most Americans I know, who just want a stupid piece of paper that states they've completed something, these Germans want something lasting. And in terms of proof....well, I never would have believed unless I saw. (Oddly coincidental, isn't it...)

So I'm off into day. Oh wait! I just remembered the part of my day that made me laugh most...when during that history lecture, one of two old pals in front of me sneezed. The man on the left looked at the sneezer, patted his back a few times, and said, "God bless you...hehehe." *

(*explanation of why this is funny: because, you see, this class is in GERMAN. So when someone sneezes, they normally say GESUNDHEIT (health!) and they don't say anything that might translate to anything about God, or being blessed. So this old man knew his english, and was clever, because it was in the midst of all the talk about Americans. We were actually on the topic, "Belonging Without Believing." )

So:
Do you belong without really believing?
Or, do you believe without belonging?

Time of Your Song

2007-04-21T05:24:00.000-07:00

I never knew I was a klutz. Yesterday I was walking around with my fly open for who knows how long. Two days before that, I was walking up the escalator with the rush of people off to work when mid-step, lost all balance and landed directly on my left knee. Kneedless to say, it was funny. My friend next to me told me I started laughing before I even hit the ground.
Whoever first acknowledged that the ability to laugh at oneself is absolutely necessary to survival should have a monument built somewhere.

I just got back from grocery shopping--it's like...my FAVORITE thing to do. One of my favorites, and something I will truly miss. For some people, when they step into a bookstore they are in heaven. Others enter malls and drool. I, however, am one to lose track of time simply admiring all a grocery store may offer. Today, I accidentally bought the wrong yogurt. Twice. I bought two puddings instead, but then me tell you, it was NO mistake! It's a dish I will probably crave the rest of my life. It was no accident that I went ahead with the purchase. I mean, the little containers looked a little different than usual, but I didn't pay much attention and just kept on truckin'. It's sort of like that thing called life...where there are times when things seem a little strange, you can't put your finger on it, and then things end up working out anyway.

How lovely.

Mom, Grandma, Aunt Jean, and Lynn were all here in this last week. We had a tremendous time doing too much walking and eating soups that are far too salty for my tastebuds. When they all came to see my room, it had been several minutes when all of a sudden--and having nothing to do with the conversation--Grandma said, "You know Karen, your place is about the size of my walk-in closet." Haha. She's soooo right. I like her honesty and her bluntness.

I'm still renovating my room. I will always be renovating everything in my life, because there's always room for improvement. Figuratively speaking, however, I just haven't got the room.

On Wednesday, the first day of my literature class, I had something funny happen to me. An unexpected something. My professor, whom I had last semester, stopped in the middle of our discussion. In German, of course, he proceeds to address me (in front of the entire class...) with something that went a bit like this: "You know something, Karen, last semester...I really thought you understood completely nothing. I mean, nothing. You had no idea what was going on. (Insert Karen's nervous laughter at herself, which increasingly becomes more normal in her life.) But when I read your final paper... you had EVERYTHING right. You completely understood everything."

I don't think you'd ever have an American professor call you out on anything like that. But this was mid-thought, mid-class, and so, so odd. I couldn't really believe he was saying this to me. In the end, sure, it was praise. But I was mildly humiliated in front of my peers--and the new JYMers who don't know me--because I was made out to be an oblivious goon.

What I've taken out of it is affirmation regarding how much easier it is for ME to make sense of things on paper; how much easier it is for others to make sense of me when they're reading my words. I enjoy that. I truly, truly do.

(Watch, now there are probably tons of sentences where you don't understand what I'm saying.) Yet I don't quite think that's any writer's job. I don't think that a writer is just spoon feeding you information. I think it's a writer's responsibility to make someone else stop dead in their reading tracks. It's a two-way method of communication. (Oh, how I MISS studying my communications major. Yes, I already know I'll be there before I know it. You need not remind me of such things.)

Hans-Peter, during our group gathering yesterday, brought in a clock and made the timer go off. He was giving us a loud reminder about time being nearly up. I don't know why this is such a surprise to anyone. I don't know why people think time works differently while abroad. I barely understand what "time" even is--how then, am I to manage it?

Round Two

2007-04-09T03:52:00.000-07:00

Hellllllllo. It's gorgeous today and I've just returned from an hour-long walk back to my room. I decided I'd walk as long as I was in the sun; the sun took me all the way back home. Today is Easter Monday, which I don't even think I knew it existed...but I'm glad it's so nice because all the people who don't have to work today are able to enjoy themselves in this incredible weather.

It's pretty weird that I still haven't begun my second semester, while overachievers at home are probably beginning to study for their final exams. There I go again--always trying to make sense of time and put things into perspective. Things aren't that way, so I don't know why I still try and force logic into all things. I remember but a few, special memories of my Grandpa, and the one coming to mind is the time we were at their house and doing a puzzle. I kept trying to put all the pieces together somewhat urgently. Grandpa's soft voice crept in and told me quite simply, "...Don't...force...it..."

I can still hear him saying it.

Forced things, to me, are never true things. I'm back in Germany and I feel forced to be studying this subject. To be honest with you, I'd had enough German studies before I even arrived. I think learning another language is necessary and an incredibly enriching experience...but I think it has more to do with recognizing--and coming to a thorough understanding of--the truth that people in the world aren't going to be the same as you, but even so, they still surrender to the same basic needs as you do. They still deserve your respect.

I am just now having time to process things from the last three weeks. Today I'm trying to process why I was created to process things. Walking helps me. I wish we could all walk more. It'd be better for us in so many ways. Time with our thoughts, our prayers, exercise for the legs, a little Vitamin D if you're in the sun, and perhaps just spending time as it was intended to be spent.

Bar-theh-lona

2007-03-12T07:10:00.000-07:00

Hi guys. I write to you from my very own home. In two weeks I've been on the go--managed a trip to Barcelona, a week or so with my visitor, finally saw Lynn, and hopped on my flight back to the states. Barcelona was beautiful and the weather was a step up from Munich's as of late because we got some face time with the sun. After stepping off my plane, I suddenly remembered that I don't speak Spanish, and I immediately was struck with my overwhelming urge to speak German to EVERYONE. It was incredible and I still can't believe how desperate I was for that language.

I must admit I was disappointed with most of the touristy things Rachel and I tried to see. So many of them were under construction, being restored, closed--you name it. I think people generally have the right motives in wanting to "keep things nice" and preserve them. But I am more strong in the notion that this act is wholly another example of how man thinks he can make things last forever; that somehow eternity could be found within four walls of a building. ("I don't think so, Tim."--Al Boreland-Home Improvement)

The highlight of the trip was the fresh market experiences, and this to-die-for shrimp tempura and sangria we had. I'm telling you, the shrimp was so fresh I think they got on a boat to catch it AFTER we ordered. I was craving guacamole the entire time, but it wasn't really available anywhere so I suggested to Rachel that we just....make our own. It was incredible to be resourceful, find bowls, utensils, the right ingredients, chips, and so on, to make our snack complete. The most expensive part of it all was the CHIPS, can you believe it? We paid the equivalent of about 4.5 USD for the dang chips. At home, normally avocados will cost you an arm, but there it was the stupid fried chips. Oh well. We enjoyed them thoroughly.

We also attending a musical performance held in a cathedral. It was Manuel Gonzalez playing spanish guitar, and it was quite beautiful. Rachel and I talked with him after the performance and complimented him on his gift.

I was really excited to get back to Germany, drink tap water, and bathe in the reality that I actually do know more German than I think I do. Like all things in life, it does take leaving something, someone, or a habit, to fully understand its affect on your living. I do not agree that you can never know this feeling unless being separated, because I tend to think I do appreciate most things in real time, but I emphasize the fullness at this time. It's powerful.

I will put up some pictures soon. I hope you have a great day and I encourage you to lose something; that you might find it again.

You're silly

2007-02-23T23:55:00.000-08:00

So I have to say that I'm sorry. I didn't do the best job of writing and explaining myself last time. You're right--I WAS in the midst of finals and writing papers in a language in which I have no writing style, and yes, that made me very busy and stressed. I wasn't trying to make anybody feel bad or anything. I just never know who's all reading, what they want to hear about, etc. I try to tell you things that aren't so ordinary, because I don't find them too interesting. I never mean to confuse anyone, and I always intend to make some sort of sense. It's my fault when it doesn't happen.

I'm going to be "out of the office" for a little while. I've received some very nice e-mails in the last days that I'd really like to respond to, but I'm afraid I can't give you an adequate response before I head out tomorrow for some traveling. Again...very excited! I've never been to Spain.

Last Tuesday I went to the Fasching celebrations with some classmates. It's soooo ridiculous. It's like Halloween meets St. Patrick's Day. The early drinking and spirits of patty's day; the bizarre costumes of the big halloweenie. We toasted with champagne, ate our weißwursts, krapfen (jelly doughnuts), und so weiter. The crowds were crowded and we were on our feet all day. My footsies have been really hurting me as of late, and the pain gets worse when you live in a big city and practically live standing! I do enjoy walking, don't get me wrong...AND it's been especially beautiful weather here lately (50 degrees fahrenheit or so). I'm just sayin'--maybe my boots weren't made for walkin'.

Off to do some last minute things. Clean my room, find missing things, you know. I hope you get the same rays in a few hours that are shining down on me as we speak.

Isn't it cool that we get to enjoy the same sun?

Brace Others, Not Yourselves

2007-02-16T23:46:00.000-08:00

There is a tragic phenomenon that seeps into the minds of us all. It deals with our ever-present nature and desire to achieve reciprocation in all things. I don't believe it's ever too much to know that you are loved. I don't believe it's ever too much to know that you've done a good job. I don't even think it's too much for us to remind each other--while things are going well--that we want to be called on the next time we are needed. I suppose a similar concept affects whether or not I write to you. I haven't written lately because I don't think you're reading; but perhaps you aren't reading because there is nothing to read. See where I am going here? It wasn't until my dear friend Elise encouraged me to write that I decided she, and perhaps others, might still want to know what is going on. But how else do we know such things unless we are told? There are far too many critics in this world, and I love the thought of a body of people who prompt and encourage one another to adopt an active role.

I have finished my first semester of classes...almost. Since February the 7th I have not been attending any formal lecture, but I have had a few papers to work on, my last being due February the 21st. We are in the midst of Fasching celebrations here--crazy costumes, Krapfen, and lots of people. On Fat Tuesday I'll be doing some tour with other JYMers that begins at 8:30am. We will "kostumieren" ourselves first, however. I have no idea what to expect. I'm trying hard to get this paper hanging over my head finished, but it's so tough because we are essentially already on break. Do you know that I am heading to Barcelona shortly? It's true! I'm quite excited, and the day after my return my best friend Jonathan will be visiting me. I'm more excited about my visitor than I am about going somewhere to visit, but I suppose you just can't compare the two.

I went to a show/concert Monday night that I really enjoyed. It was electronic music, even though one of my JYM mates described it as instrumental. I suppose that counts, but I went there thinking I was going to hear some Bach. The venue was smokey and loud and someone burned my arm with their cigarette. Too bad I'm not Terminator, because when that happens to him he's not phased in the least. I, on the other hand, screamed and was mad I had nothing cold to put on my arm. I've had enough of the smoke here. I've already got my share of scars on both my feet--I'm not really looking to add to the scar count!

A story: please read the title of this entire entry if you've not yet done so. (Okay, ready now?) Last Saturday I was working on a paper at a cafe near the Universität. A woman, who reminded me of my brother's friend Daniel's mom, had a dog with her and was also hard at work. I was writing a paper for my literature class, which translated is titled: The Simplemindedness of Man; The Omnipotence of God. As I wrote, while eating, while person-watching (my utmost favorite multi-tasking combination) I noticed this woman's bracelet with several small ichthus images. My wise friend Kirsten once told me (if I remember correctly) that in old times, as two people would converse, a Christian would nonchalantly mark half of the fish with his foot in the sand, and if the other were also a Christian, he would signify this by completing the second half of the fish with the swoop of his foot in the sand. I thought and still think this is fascinating.

I was wishing the same for myself. I wished I could just go up to this 'stranger' and say, "Hey lady...I know what you know." But I imagine if stuck my finger in her coffee and made this curved shape, that might not go over so well. So I just let things be.

But yesterday was different. Yesterday, nearly a week later, I was back again and ready to work. And would you know it, the only table available was across from a man and a woman and a dog. I should mention, this woman was the same as the one I just earlier described. Surely I took note of this, but again, what was I to do? I found the man to be fairly attractive for a German in his 40s. I noticed myself continually looking up at them, curious about what they were up to. Tons of books were on the table, and I would have given much to know what they were working on. The man and I exchanged friendly smiles whenever we noticed each other. I imagine he heard me speaking english with my friend Kelly and in some way that must have sparked an equal amount of curiosity.

An hour or so later, for a split second of time, I saw it again. It? He wore a bracelet. His, however, was red. Amazing that I noticed it--his sleeves were quite long, and it was only because the dog had stood up to get some lovin' and the man's long sleeves no longer hid his wrist. It was even dark under the table, but it still caught my eye. So I sat there for the next half an hour or so, wrestling with my thoughts: "Do I say something?-No, don't say anything, what do you think you're going to say?--Just say something! It's harmless!--They're going to think you're weird. Do I even know how to say bracelet? Why do you always feel compelled to tell people what you're thinking?"

As odd as it sounds, I knew if I didn't say anything I'd regret it. The woman got up and left, and I didn't realize they were leaving-leaving. So as the man packed up, I thought, okay, here goes. (German): Excuse me--I just wanted to say that I like your bracelet. He looked at me, kind of a look like "how did she see I was wearing one?" and after looking at his wrist and back at me, he thanked me. "Do you want it?" I start laughing. "No, no! I just wanted to say that I liked it."-"No really, you can have it! I have more at home. It's no problem." I start laughing harder. My face now burning and my thoughts relieved that the intense red walls and red lighting concealed my blushing cheeks. "No no. Last week I saw hers, and it was green. So I just wanted to say that it was nice." He had still been holding it out, and put it on the table. "Do you know what it means?" He really meant it. He wanted to make sure I knew, and I did. I smiled with a smile to say "Hey man...I know what you know." And he wished us a good day and left. I, of course, continued laughing.

My friend Kelly said much she likes nice people, and I agreed. I felt bad because I didn't mean to disrupt her work at all, but it was yet another refreshing moment of generosity. Even the fact that he stayed there long enough to have a conversation with me, before I even got the words out, says something about that man's character. I am pleased this is new memory that will forever be stored on the good list of Munich moments dwelling in my thoughts. The funny thing is, I didn't even really like the aestethics of this bracelet. I just liked what it represented. It wouldn't have ever thought this man should offer me something of his, but I loved the fact that he expressed interest in making sure I actually knew what it meant.

And back to the idea and lessons of reciprocity: It is better to give than to receive. This man freely gave what had been given to him; he wanted nothing in return.

Pictures:
-Tulips that Rachel's aupair family's mom gave to me for Valentine's Day.
-Pics from Rachel's birthday celebration.
-Randoms. I wish I were an artist.

In The Middle

2007-01-30T11:12:00.000-08:00

January 30th is one of the only two days that fall between my brother and my sister's birthdays. I remember one year when I was so upset by all the attention they were getting that I ran upstairs balling, as usual, and shut the door behind me. Auntie Jo followed me up, and told me she had something special to give me...it was my first $2 bill. I remember putting it in one of these green jewelry boxes my dad had given me. Dad always likes to keep extra boxes around because he says we can always use them to put things in. You never know when you'll need it, he says.

I walked downstairs all happy again. I didn't have to reveal my secret to happiness. I was humbling keeping my source of joy to myself, that I may be the bigger man. Just then, I watched Stephen and Lynn opening presents. Turns out they each received their own $2 bill, too.

I like to be the Auntie Jo in that story. I like to do things that make people happy like that, if even for a moment. Doing the unsuspecting random acts of kindness, or giving the silly gifts that warm up your heart, even if only for that moment. As if someone put it in the microwave for :10. It still counts.

The last few days have been quite trying, but quite wonderful and rewarding because of such depth. I got to give toothpaste to someone who didn't have any. I tricked gender roles by holding a door for a man who had no hands left after his purchase at the bakery. I got to hide behind Sendlinger Tor with Rachel as we waited for our friend Tom and attacked him with snowballs.

Relationships changed this week, as they should. I've had epiphanies this week, as any human should.

I'm very much looking forward to this semester being over. It's not because I want time to move faster and leave or something. I just need something new to keep me entertained with classes, and something new to try out again. I have gained in this last week a much more positive expectation of myself here...and I need this semester to end officially so I can try to improve.

I think there is something beautiful about second chances.

I think if you are someone who likes second chances, it's worth asking yourself why.

I think if you have asked yourself why, and you couldn't think of anything, you need to give yourself a second chance and really let it sit for a second. Or for two.

For the Breathing

2007-01-23T12:12:00.000-08:00

Nothing's new,
A week is past.
Less found from the last.
The days are stronger.
Yet weeks, they are weak.
My floor, a mess.
Words will not speak.
Smokedbeer to my lips,
ice cream to the hips.
That was Saturday,
not the day of today.
Tomorrow the middle.
And so another night.
Long to dream.
Quick to wake.
Fast to fall all over again.
Dreams are nothing new if they aren't remembered.
September.
Wonderfully made,
the inmost being.
Knit, no longer falling apart.
Always remember the start;
can't end.
It never has.
The tops of mountains feign the caps.
Fear, fünf, sex.
And the palms are grasped again.
Do not worry, just talk.
He will listen, she says.
Can't Tuesday be a day for twos?
Friday, a day for freedom.
Every day is such.
Does he love me too much?
An ever-present yes.
Slandered through your knowing.
Don't tell me about slurs.
Tell me about the growing heart.

You Really Do Gotta Be

2007-01-17T12:21:00.000-08:00

I was a wise third grader. If you've known me that long, you might have seen the infamous recording of me singing You Gotta Be. The lyrics suit the day's events well:

Listen as your day unfolds,
Challenge what the future holds,
Try to keep your head up to the sky...
Lovers they may cause you tears,
Go ahead release your fears,
Stand up and be challenged
Dont be ashamed to cry...

You gotta be, you gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser,
You gotta be hard you gotta be tough you gotta be stronger,
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together,
All I know all I know is love will save the day.

Herald what your mamma said,
Read the books your father read,
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet mind,
Some may have more cash than you,
Others take a different view,
My oh my, hey hey hey,

you gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser,
You gotta be hard you gotta be tough you gotta be stronger,
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together,
All I know all I know is love will save the day.

Time asks no questions, it goes on without you,
Leaving you behind if you cant stand the pace,
The world you cant stop it and if you try to,
The best part is danger staring you in the face.

Oh oh remember

Listen as your day unfolds,
Challenge what the future holds,
Try to keep your head up to the sky...
Lovers they may cause you tears,
Go ahead release your fears,
My oh my, hey hey hey

you gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser,
You gotta be hard you gotta be tough you gotta be stronger,
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together,
All I know all I know is
l o v e w i l l s a v e t h e d a y.

They Have a Target Here. No, Not the Store; It is me.

2007-01-11T14:03:00.000-08:00

I write to you, not-so-slightly overwhelmed and equally confused by the series of events unfolding these last four months. Wow, four months. May I remind you about Demietri? The Russian, who adamantly followed me before and after I wouldn't give him my number. May I remind you about my wallet? It was stolen from me. May I remind you about the man who sang, "you should go home..." as well as the other man who flicked me off for no reason after a pleasant Sunday of church? Now, I need someone to remind me why I'm here still. Why these things "just keep happening" to me. Meanwhile, I'll remind myself that suffering produces perseverance, then character, then hope.

Sunday night marks another painful memory. This is one of those tales that really requires you to know the setting, and by the time I explain it, the story will have lost its power and you might not see why I've taken you through it. Here I go, anyway. As I got off one U-Bahn to wait for another arriving in five minutes or so, I was doing nothing but standing and breathing. On the platform across from me, for the trains heading the opposite direction, there was a man walking intently. He looked at me from his side (which you must know, our sides cannot be reached unless by use of the overpass), and he flicked me off with the thrust of his hand. Sure, at first I thought he did this to me, then told myself to stop thinking that way; but looking around me, I didn't see anybody else. I was appalled. Though facing left, my eyes followed him because I couldn't believe what had just happened. As he walked farther out of the picture, he made eye contact again, and again he deliberately and viciously flicked me off. Shocking. But then the worse part came. The part where this man did a one-eighty, and began walking up the moving escalator--to the overpass. Because this passage is a platform high above my level, I lost sight of this man.

My stomach dropped and I got that bad feeling that can't be described in any other way than a bad feeling. I prayed for physical protection. My train finally was arriving, and as it stopped and people began to exit, out of nowhere, the man dashed into my peripheral and proceeded to come right up to my face, saying, "Bitte ich durch fichen, bitte ich durch fichen!" I can't remember if this is what he said. It was loud, and it was a blur to me, and it was terrifying because he sought me out after I had done nothing. I am unsure at this point if he was saying "F-you" or if he was saying "I want to f-you." Regardless, I know it couldn't have been anything pleasant.

I said, "Bitte?" and just looked at him, then pushed my way onto the train. I quickly turned to see if he had followed me onto the car, but saw no one. And that was when I began to cry. I cried the whole way home until I got to my room, and I was incredibly shaky. I am tired of being treated this way. I am emotionally exhausted from having to ask myself, "what happened this time?" and wondering why these types of things aren't happening to anyone else I know here. Two days later, when having a conversation with an authortative figure, I was thoroughly offended when I was told, "Well, you're an attractive girl and these things happen to you. On the bright side, you'll have an easier time getting jobs, so it sort of balances out." No. I'm sorry, but it doesn't. There is no scale that will ever balance the dehumanizing of another. No one will convince me there is justification in choosing less than moral actions. You will never win that battle with me.

I thought these things were going to cease. I fear they have not, because this morning yet another odd thing happened to write home about. The winds were quite strong today, and as Rachel and I perused the streets with errands to accompish, we happened to be passing by a Greek restaurant at exactly the same time a gust blew down two easels with the day's specials. "You get that one, I'll get this one," I told her. So we picked them up, and just as we were about to leave, a man came out and started telling us thank you, and to come inside for something that I just couldn't make out the word. Native, Southern Germans can be hard enough to understand, but this was a Greek speaker. I didn't understand what he was saying, but I knew he wanted to thank us for our "good deed". We went inside, and another younger man presented us with a shot of licorice schnapps. They told us how to say "Prost!" in Greek, and Rachel and I looked at each other like, "is this really happening?" we shrugged our shoulders, and accepted their cultural offer of thanks. They asked if we were sisters, and I told them yes, sisters in Christ.

We left, and then just a second later, the younger man came out and started asking about coffee. I couldn't understand at first if he meant to come back in and have coffee, or what. I should have known, though. He wanted to have coffee with us later, and said he was going to give us his number. I said, no, that's okay, and if we wanted to then we'd come back to the restaurant at a later time (translation for guys: No. I don't want coffee now. I don't want it later, either. Actually, I'm never coming back, and I never want to see you again.) At this point in time, the man put had put his hand on my collarbone, and before I knew it, he was kissing my cheek goodbye.

Immediately I turned to leave, and jaw dropped, I turned to Rachel in utter disbelief of what had just happened. Who could have ever known what one gust of wind could result in? Certainly not schnapps at noon. Certainly not a conversation with Greeks. And most certainly, not an unwelcomed kiss from a strange and scruffy man.

I am unimpressed with the 'tact" of men. I am tired of being accused of doing wrong in any of the above=mentioned situations. And most of all, I am looking forward to the day coming where I never have to deal with this again.

(You Get to Create Your Own Captions)

2007-01-06T01:15:00.000-08:00

There's A Place Like Home for the Holidays

2006-12-30T10:56:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to you and Happy New Year!--one day early. Isn't it strange that it will be 2007 several hours before it probably will be for you? I used to think it was strange that I was eating dinner when you were eating an early lunch. Then I thought it was weird when I was up early and it was still "yesterday" for you. But now...now I think it's strange that my date will end in a seven, yet yours with a six. (Come on now...don't you guys know it's not good to live in the past?)

As I write, Lynn and I are watching Friends DVDs, Stephen and Dad are playing cards, and Mom is probably checking her e-mail. Today we headed out to Bratislava, and after a one-hour train ride, we had to present our passports to the pass control people. Funny thing though. Someone you know didn't bring her passport; she goes by the name Karen. You might acknowledge this as abnormal for me, and it is. But here was my logic--the last time I came to Austria, a close sister told me I didn't need to bring my passport because Austria is in the EU. So, when I left Munich with the fam on Thursday, I didn't even intend to bring it, since Slovakia is in the EU...

But boy oh boy was it funny when everyone else was "all clear" and then I stepped up to the plate, practically laughing in the guard's face, and attempted to show him copies of my passport and visa. He looked right at my face and said, "NO." Then he brought me over to some guy behind a glass counter, showed him my papers, and the man just shook his head violently, left to right, repeat, repeat. He undoubtedly resembled the soup nazi from Seinfeld. Then I asked the man, "So what do I do?" And he said, "LEAVE ON THE NEXT TRAIN BACK TO VIENNA!" Haha. Lynn and Mom stayed, while the boys and I turned back around and walked directly to the same train we just arrived by minutes before.

We've been spending lots of time together doing what people do. We eat a lot, walk around a lot, yell at each other, laugh at each other, mock one another, and sleep. I enjoyed the opportunity to show my family around Munich, but with the way things are over here, Sunday through Tuesday were all holidays, therefore many typical touristy things weren't open. We did, however, see Neuschwanstein on Tuesday, and it looked like a scene taken straight from a snowglobe.

Wednesday we visited family on Mom's side in Gemünden, and let me tell you, the eight-hour-plus train ride was more than worth it. Oh, I can't tell you enough how enjoyable it was to meet relatives I've heard lots of stories about. There's so much to say, that you'll just have to ask me about it. The hardest part was leaving, because as I was hugging Tante Emmy (who is blind), she began to cry and said, "It's so hard to be blind.... It's so hard to be blind..." It crushed me and rethinking it now crushes me yet again. I told her one day we will be able to see each other, because I believe that. But I've never felt so sad and helpless in front of family like that.

But before we left, Hildegard insisted Lynn and I come into the kitchen, and we all made sandwiches for our return ride home. Each sandwich had to have buttered sides, salami/ham, and cheese. UNCUT SANDWICHES WERE NOT ACCEPTABLE. No, no! They all drove us to the train station then, in four cars, and sent us off in German style. We boarded the train, and they just stood out there, directly on the other side of the window. It was hilariously awkward and funny, because we didn't know if we were supposed to keep waving and stuff or what.

Things are going good though. Sometimes it's a little rough, but so is life.

Verbs

2006-12-19T03:49:00.000-08:00

I am super tired and not believing it's Christmas.

A man flicked me off for no reason after I exited the U-Bahn. A blatant and harsh flip of the bird. I'm still kind of shocked about it and think it's unfair.

Had a wonderful Christmas party with JYM last Friday, and sang with a few other JYMers a few Christmas songs auf Englisch und Deutsch. Loving the Christmas markets. Disliking the crowds. Excited to write '07 instead of '06. Tired of having bad dreams and restless sleep. Ready to study communication. Loving my friends here. Missing you.

For the Procrastinators

2006-12-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

Dude...look how long my hair is when it's straight! Rachel did it. We're having fun living in close proximity. Love, Karen

Not a weak week

2006-12-06T23:26:00.000-08:00

Something outrageous has been happening, and that is that everytime I check Lynn's blog, it seems her pictures and/or recent doings more than resemble mine! I'm talkin'....to the DAY or the PHOTO! How creepy! Maybe we are sisters or something. I guess we'll never know.

So this last week has been crazy and eventful. Friday I went to the Christkindlmarkt at Marienplatz and tried the glühwein, an amaretto roll, and had a big bratwurst with lots of mustard. I'm hungry just thinking of all the delicacies; calmed just thinking of the leisurely market pace. Later on, I packed my things and ventured out to Viehbach, Germany--the town of 400 where Rachel lives/LIVED...(We would then head to Haimhausen--Adam lent us his apartment/keys so we could be girls and bake cookies, sit on real couches, and spread out our arms without touching a wall.)

When I got to my third mode of transportation, I spoke a great deal with the bus driver and told him where I was going. Rachel was meeting me with her moped (MO-ped!). Long story short, the bus driver and I both thought I had to go to the last stop, but in actuality, my little itinerary was just telling me the DIRECTION of the bus...aka...the LAST STOP. Apparently Rachel was sitting there waiting for me, saw me NOT get off the bus, and chased me for a bit! After a phone call or two, and a good 15 minutes for me to laugh at what I had done, she arrived to rescue me. But don't forget, I had two bags with me, there were two of us, and the is only one helmet. She let me wear it. This guy across the street saw us look like fools and try to maneuver this phenomenal balancing act. After a prayer for protection, we were on our way, and it was sooo awesome! I got to ride through tiny villages on a moped, hanging on to my dear friend's torso and screaming at the top of my lungs. Not a scary scream, rather a WAHOOOOOO I'M-ON-A-MOPED-AND-MY-HANDS-ARE-FREEZING-CUZ-IT'S-COLD-BUT-I-DON'T-CARE-CUZ-I'M-RIDING-THROUGH-GERMAN-VILLAGES-ON-A-MOPED-scream.

The next night and day, we baked about 300 cookies, visited the international school's market, and made a really nice dinner for Adam and Michael, who were arriving late from their training in London. They loved the food, we loved making it, and we all watched the Grinch together and ate cookies until we couldn't move. Adam drove us to Rachel's host house, and although I wasn't prepared or planning to stay anywhere Saturday night, Rachel's pseudo-family said they'd be gone all night at a party and sleeping over. So Rach and I slept there, but then, at 3 in the morning, I awoke abruptly to the sounds of an argument. Even though the parents never expressed their expectations of visitors in the house, the mom told Rachel that "you let a foreigner in the house." (Oh, by the way, that's me...I'm a foreigner.)

Long, long story short......I have a new roommate. Her name is Rachel and I arranged my room so that half of it may be occupied by her. One of her suitcases is packed and stored at Adam's. The rest of it is here. The family apparently was having problems four months ago, which is one month before Rachel's arrival. The "fair" thing to do would have been to communicate that to Rachel prior to her flight and expected 9 month stay...right? Right. But say it with me...LIFE'S...NOT...FAIR! Good thing God is faithful.

So the week's been a bit crazy and I'm sorry for not writing. Last night, however, was AMAZING. Rachel and I were invited to a family's home from church, who had a beautiful home; oh, it was also aestethically beautiful. There are six children--three by birth and the other three are the cousins, whose parents are both deceased. I am so happy for this family and you just see LOVE written all over everything. We ate a great dinner, sang Christmas carols, talked about a story from the bible, played hide and seek, and watched I Love Lucy episodes....which were cracking all of us up, ages 8-40s or so. And if we hadn't been given enough already, we were sent away with lovely stockings and a ride home, because they didn't want us to ride public transportation home. We are blessed.

Also from this weeks, some pics from JYM activities...on St. Nikolaus day, St. Nikolaus (HP) surprised our classroom and gave all the "good ones" clementines. He had a book with names inside of all the people who spoke only german, and they were going to get BMWs, he said, but when he opened up the book, he found it (astonishingly!) to be blank. After class, we decorated a tree and had lebkuchen and wine/cider. It was lots of fun and I'm glad we did it. I signed up to sing some carols with others who want to for our party next Friday.

Can't believe the fam will be here in t-minus two weeks!
love you.

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

2006-11-30T12:29:00.000-08:00

For many years, I'd run up to my mom, put my hands on her face and cry, "MOM! Feel how COLD my hands are!" I always got the same response; she'd jolt and say, "Cold hands, warm heart." I write to you now with my feet firmly pressed against my radiator on highest heat, and I'm still cold. Mom, do you think I can still have a warm heart if I have cold feet? Can I?

In the last 10 days, I have babysit six of them. I feel it's time to share more with you about the kids I spend much time with. Here's my typical day:

After climbing 86 steps to the third floor, I finally reach the classrooms I need to search through to find Emily and Timo. They've never been in the same place twice, so I sort of play a live version of Where's Waldo? until both have been located. Bianca, Emily's friend, thinks I don't understand a word of German, so when she talks about me in front of me, it's amusing. The kids change from their "houseshoes" back to their street shoes, and after Timo asks me if I can carry his backpack--"Can you hold?"--we begin our descent.

In the fall, I would treat them to ice cream when they'd ask for it. But now that winter is here, and the Bäckerei is oh-so-conveniently located at the corner we MUST pass to get home, I always anticipate Emily asking, "Can we get somesing von there? Please?" Yes...we can. I would be more eager to buy these treats weekly if there was a small 'thank you' involved. After a few times of no "thank you" from either of them, I once asked if I could try a bit of each of theirs. I think they were appalled I asked, and they said no. I said, "You know, I buy you something with my own money EVERY week. You never say thank you to me, and you won't even share with me." There have been more thank yous since then, but not from both, and not consistently.

They walk slowly home, so I must, too. Seven minutes later, we arrive at #15 and Emily turns her back to me, without saying anything, and asks, "Can you make it open?" and requests I get the key out. I do. They usually go right to the table and eat more food--toast or cereal. Emily will eat 3-5 slices and lather them with honey and butter. Timo eats the same amount, but he doesn't take butter on his.

Emily is a pretty typical first-born. She wants things her way, and is demanding when she doesn't get them. She is quick to have a snide comment, but she really does love Timo. He loves her back. I've never seen them hit eachother, which is strange because I feel like Lynn, Steve, and I did nothing but attack, kick, scratch, and shoot each other in the eyes with nerf guns (okay, all are true except the last one, which was just me on Easter one year. I shot Steve in the eye with the gun he got in his basket that shoots around corners. Sorry again, Steve.)

Emily asks me what some words are in English, and on the occasional time I don't know what word she's requesting, she is immediately frustrated and makes me feel like an ignorant fool. Timo won't speak much English, because he really can't, but he says a word or two here and there, and often breaks into song: "We were da shaaaampions, youuuu were da loooossaaaa."
He gets mad when Emily plays Gameboy, and he tells her auf Deutsch, "Come onnnn. Let's play something with HER."

There are two games they like to play: Zoo, and Ghost/Geist. They are the made up games that normally involve me looking stupid, but no other person sees me so I don't feel THAT dumb. We play soccer outside behind their building a lot, too, and they never wear their jackets. Back to the cold thing, I am freezing in their house! Always. Today when I said I was cold, Emily looked at me like I was stupid and told me no, it's not cold. Apparently she knows exactly how my body felt.

I stayed overnight Saturday with the kids while the parents were away. We sang Christmas songs in German. I can't imagine any American children A. getting along and B. wanting to just sing together. It was pretty cute. They have this thing hanging in their living room now for the Advent season. There are 24 packages wrapped, each one individually hanging from one larger string that reaches across the room. It seems like a fun tradition.

That's pretty much my day with them, though. I'm cold, they're hot. They eat, I starve (exaggerating). You get the picture, I hope.

The Christkindlmarkt at Marienplatz will open tomorrow and I'm very excited about it. I think the spirit of Christmas will be more present here, and more beautiful. Only time will tell. I bought myself a string of lights last week, as you can see from the photo. I miss the ones Brittany and I had in our room last year, but these will just have to suffice.

Mmmm...turkey

2006-11-24T01:51:00.000-08:00

Happy belated turkey day! Is it really November 24th already?

Wednesday night I slept over at my friend Taryn's flat in a city called Starnberg (on the lake where that women's retreat was). She has such a fun home and it was nice to be in just one room of her place that was bigger than the entirety of my living space. Sigh. Isn't it a beautiful thing when we share what we have been given with others, and not just hoard it for ourselves? Lovely things happen. We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant and shared chips and salsa/guac, sangria, and chicken tortillas. Taryn lives really close to Jeff and Tara's--where Thanksgiving dinner was held--so that's a large reason for my staying over.

Thursday we did some reading, shopped for groceries, went for a very short run, prepared our portions of dinner, and cleaned ourselves up. I made sweet potatoes, but man oh man, are they tough to find! There's a picture of how skinny and scrawny they are. Tough to peel, that's for dang sure. We got to dinner around 6, but it wasn't to start until 7. This is one thing that was different than my home thanksgiving--I'm used to a mid-afternoon dinner, which allows more time for digestion and seconds, and thirds, and more pumpkin pie. But don't worry; I still had my share. There were about 20 of us, and most knew each other because all attend the International Church. It was fun because there were some Germans there who never had Thanksgiving dinner EVER and I enjoyed them enjoying the food.

I love this group of people! They are awesome and real and hilarious. Some of the pics are inspired by Michael, whose intended cross-eyed gaze really just looks like he's making freaky big eyes at you. I got a kick out of that for a while so we all took part in it. The hosts also have a dog, Budro (BOO-droh), and he was soooo fun and playful. We all were fighting over who got to wrestle with him.

When I got home, I had a webcam-Skype date with my family, who gathered at our house this year. How lovely it was to see so much of my family last night! (Although... I don't think I held anyone's attention for too long, which was kind of sad.) It looked chaotic and like every one was very much engaged in their own agenda; expected, and understandable. Today I think I'm going to try and catch up on things...Miami e-mail has been really shoddy lately and I'm behind on much correspondence.

So, may God bless your day, whatever it may be. Work, school, eating leftovers, or heading out into the craziness of day-after-thanksgiving shoppers. I guess it's time to put together my Christmas music playlists and hunt for lights to decorate. I am really excited to see what the holiday feels like and looks like here. But jumping back a holiday, though it's by one mere day, I must say I am most thankful at my age to really know the absolute Truth and true meaning behind the upcoming holiday.

Different Are Some Things

2006-11-20T11:16:00.000-08:00

Well hello there. I'm back to tell you about some odd things that have happened these last few days. Let's jump right in, shall we? Saturday evening, Rachel and I were simply at the grocery store, deciding what sort of dinner we'd come up with later on, merely talking to one another...when an old man walked by and said (practically sang), "Youuuuuu shouuuld go hoooome..." and just continued to stroll along ahead to the checkout. I followed him with my eyes, jaw slightly dropped, and sure enough he turned back after a few steps, staring with an evil grin to see our reaction. Sorry, but no one will convince me that somehow he thought little old me had a rough day and was telling me to go back home and rest up. No sir. This man was quite obviously telling me (us...) to go back to whatever English-speaking land we've come from. I wonder if my generation is as stubborn and arrogant as his can be. I sure hope not. I sure hope the world begins to realize they are better than no one, and no one is better than them.

Next order of business: today's class. Today we were talking about what we did over the weekend. A guy named Jason said he went to the Deutsche Museum, and because I had just visited there recently, I wanted to know what he thought of it. So I said, auf Deutsch,
"How did you find it?"
And he said, "I asked someone."

Now, this wasn't registering to me. I must say, I think most of you know I get way too much of a kick out of double-meaning sentences, so really, I should have realized what was going on when everyone was laughing. But the truth is, I thought they were laughing because Jason "misunderstood" my question. I repeated what I said in my head, just to make sure I said the right thing, and I gave myself the all-clear. Everyone kept laughing, but I couldn't even speak, because I was confused about why everyone kept looking at ME and laughing. Some seconds later, the laughter errupted from yours truly, when I realized Jason thought I was literally asking how he located the museum... The next part was really cool, when my teacher proceeded to share with us an expression for people who are "slow" like that. Also not appreciated. I have had way too many teachers who adore cynicism and allow mockery in the classroom. It's not conducive to learning, and it's not encouraging me to be an active participant.

As I babysat today, I helped Timo with a rap he has to learn in English. "1, 2, 3, this is the schoolbag rap, I want you to sing with me." I flipped through the rest of his book and noticed their Halloween chant says "trick-or-treat, I like it sweet, give me something good to eat!" and not SMELL MY FEET! I think I like the stinky way better. Oh, and they also had a lesson on school supplies, and the picture of the eraser is called a rubber--so I am slightly concerned for these young minds and this false teaching!

One thing I've been thinking about lately when I walk around the streets of Munich is how I'm living in a big city. When I applied to college, which has already been three years now, I remember sitting down with my mom in our living room with this sheet that had broad differentiations and characteristics about universities. My goal was to cross off what I didn't want, and make note of what I did want. I remember fervently wanting to attend school in a big city, and I had no justificatin or solid reason other than looking and sounding cool. You might be thinking, "But Karen goes to school in Oxford....OHIO." Yes, you are right. What drew me to Oxford were things I could not see, even though I didn't know it. Something/One bigger than myself drew me to Oxford, I do believe. But what is funny to me now is that the city desire of mine, the one forced dormant, is actually being fulfilled at present, despite my regularly scheduled Miami life. After all, my passport states I really do live here.

But, I'm still glad to know where my real residence is.

Brats for Breakfast

2006-11-15T23:35:00.000-08:00

Hi! I'm writing to you as I cook these brats I bought yesterday. And just so we're on the same page, it's also 8:30 in the morning. I was going to eat them for lunch, but I've woken up and can't seem to get them off my mind. The last days have been full ones and involved little sleep. I had the privilege of attending a Young Life camp over the weekend and it was SO awesome. I got to take part in all their activities, and my favorite was this waterpark called Alpamare. It was honestly the coolest water park I've ever been to. When you got there you got a bracelet with a little chip in it. When you put stuff in a locker, the chip intentionally gets stuck in the key and becomes the bracelet. Thennnnn you get to do whatever you want while inside--eat, buy, etc., and it just tracks it on your chip. Then you just pay once when you leave. The rides reminded me of Great America gone water park, because they were "real" and exciting rides.

(Man...my apartment totally smells like onions now...) I can't believe it's mid-November. We're past my two month anniversary here. I can't wait for Mom, Dad, and Stephen to come. It's so close I can taste it--oh wait, no, that was just the onion coming up. Just kidding. Next week I give my referat/presentation about Strategic Communications auf Deutsch. Should be interesting. We have to make handouts for all our presentations, because that's what they do here. It's become tedious because I do not have a printer. I am considering buying one for 40 euro to alleviate time, stress, and insane costs. We shall see.

For Thanksgiving, I'm going to spend it near Starnberger See with a bunch of people from church and staff from Young Life. I will probably sleep over Wednesday night so I can spend the whole day there just hanging out and cooking, playing with their dog!, and enjoying fellowship. I am so lucky to know these people...

The credit card and debit card issue has been resolved, thankfully. Well, not come to closure, but I now have a way to get money on my own. Shout out to the fam for being patient with the situation and being understanding! You are awesome. The Christkindlmarkts will start in just a couple weeks here and I'm really looking forward to taking pictures and walking around in the lovely atmosphere. So much going on! Hope to write more soon...this will be the first weekend sort of to myself/nothing planning. I'm looking forward to getting re-organized and finding things that are hiding in my room. Love, karen.

Stream of Consciousness

2006-11-09T12:55:00.000-08:00

• my bottle of Mr. Clean reads "Meister Proper"
• I think a man was yelling at me today for walking in front of him. When I held a door for a little girl just after it, she looked up at me (she was adorable) and said, "What's he saying?" I said, "I don't know!" and she said, "He must be drunk."
• someone had to help me open the wash machine today after I did laundry
• I think I need a chair in my ugly white room
• I'm working on my german "R" pronunciation
• can't figure it out yet, but why does eating alone seem to take up dramatically less time than a meal for two or three? or four?
• still don't have a debit card; it's been 2+ weeks
• I finished my first journal ever in my entire life and it's very bittersweet; it's a document capturing the most drastic changes of my life
• Rittersport Marzipan...yes please.
• I'm always hungry
• when you go into a copy shop and need copies, they don't ask you "how many?" instead they ask, "how often?"
• I'm still hungry
• I need more hugs

2006-11-07T08:46:00.000-08:00

The last few days have been really wonderful. Rachel packed a bag and stayed over Friday-Sunday, which was so awesome! Christianna, Josh, Rachel and I all went out to the Augustiner restaurant/hall to enjoy dinner and lovely conversation on Friday, then headed to Strannenhalle (I think that's what it's called) for a coffee and some live music--It's one of the few 24-hour places you'll find here in Munich. The next day, the three girls went to the Deustches Museum and explored the sights for a good three or four hours. Christianna had to leave to head to a rehearsal, but Rachel and I kept walking around the Marienplatz area and bought matching German bibles....haha. We totally did.

We made a really beautiful and tasty dinner together, which I won't take most of the credit for. Midnight meant bedtime, because the previous night we were up til 3 am. We spent Sunday doing things we needed to catch up on; I had homework so I demanded Rachel use my internet. (She has to pay for hers whenever she wants to use it at the house! How absurd! That's why I demanded she make use of mine because it's free.) We were really excited to go to church, and literally were counting down the hours. I never thought I'd be someone who'd wake up and think, "AWWW MAAAAN, DO I REALLY HAVE TO WAIT SEVEN HOURS until church!?" But that's totally how we are. We had a mad craving for those amazing roasted almonds, so we left a little early. I remember us both singing with joy as we pranced outside my door. I shut the door behind me, and Rachel said, "you grab the keys?" My jaw dropped. She probably thought I was kidding. "NO, I DIDN'T! And...and I'M NOT KIDDING!" Grrrreat. That sucks. I didn't know what to do and I was just in awe that I did that. We hung outside my door for about a minute or two, and decided there really was nothing TO do. So, we prayed while we walked down the stairs. Josh met us on the ground floor and I explained what I had just done, and then sure enough, some guy who "just happened" to be walking by us at the same time we reached the bottom of the stairs, "just happened" to know English, "just happened" to overhear us, "just happened" to have a pick, and asked what room number I was because he wanted to help. Thank You!!!

He was Jens from Denmark. Way to go Jens. It was just as exciting as it was unsettling though, because Jens' scrawny metal device open my door with little to no effort and a slight nudge on the door. It was then that I learned you can double bolt the doors (and, one should). How was I supposed to know? Lesson learned.

Church was amazing, then we had this meeting, where I volunteered to work at a camp this upcoming weekend about an hour from Munich. I have no explanation as to why I feel this way, but I am thrilled about it and really eager to be there. We shall see! On a general note, I've been sooooo blessed with the friends I'm making. But the truth is, I didn't make them. They were totally picked for me, which is why they are all the better. Some of us went to Adam's house yesterday night and cooked dinner together, and just had a great time hanging out and getting to know one another better. I have only hung out with some of these friends three or four times, but it doesn't feel that way at all to me. I already feel sad knowing I have to leave them. But yes, there is a season for everything. Everything.

Vienna Waits For You

2006-11-02T11:02:00.000-08:00

I like trips just as much as you probably do; that is, of course, every trip but a guilt trip. On Friday we had a Halloween party at JYM, and I had told Lynn I'd decide at the party whether or not I'd arrive to visit her Saturday or Monday. I really felt I needed a moment to breathe after a frustrating week of mishaps. When I got home that night and told Lynn Monday would be the day, my special sister-only radar went off, and made it clear that Monday just wasn't going to cut it. So I slept a short six hours, threw clothes in a bag, and headed off to the main train station. I sent Stefan and Lynn an e-mail minutes before walking out the door entitled, "See you soon."

I thought it was costing me 65 euros or so to travel to Vienna. But when I got to the ticket office, the man told me in his best German that it was 135 euros. Now, you must remember, I have had no way of acquiring more cash since the wallet incident. I had gathered all the cash I had with me. Every cent. I thought it was sixty, I said. ONE WAY, he said. Fine. I moved aside because the frantic woman behind me was impatient and couldn't wait her turn in line. As she ranted, I counted out my money. I had only 130 euros in cash. Now I was counting coins. One thirty-one. One thirty-two. One thirty-four (two-euro coin!). One thirty-five. I smiled and presented the money to him with relief, thinking, "I guess no breakfast for me." He turned the money to his side, counted it, put his lips up to the window and said, "Hundred thirty-five...SIXTY." Agh! I scooped up the bottom of my purse and finally found it. Thank God. I even found 1,90 euro more in coins. Looks like I could eat breakfast after all. Long story short...I traveled to Vienna with a mere six cents in my pocket, and with no means to access more.

Lynn greeted me with a happy sunflower and a banana--man, does she know me well or what? Her blog has given a great account of our days together: lynn.sikora@blogspot.com. But what I must add is how grateful I feel to know Stefan and his family. It is fate that our families were matched up just three years ago, and I can't stress enough how meaningful it is, and has been, to have kept contact with their family all these years. We really are part of something special. The Weihs family was so kind to me while I visited. It is so entertaining to be at any meal together--the content is half of your average monolingual conversation, because the other half is explaining the English to an Austrian, or the Viennese dialect to an American. Their family friend told me I had a "typical American laugh," which I of course took as less than a compliment. So I laugh loud...again, a crime! Maybe I should keep track of how many people can't handle me laughing. So far: two (remember the construction workers?)

Vienna is quite a beautiful place and I'm very happy for Lynn to be there. It was great to see what her apartment looks like in person, because the pictures don't do justice. It's a lovely home with big windows and no clutter whatsoever. (My bag doesn't count as clutter.) I slept more than I would have liked to, but I don't think anyone could understand what I've been going through lately. That, plus the headaches, plus the time change, plus the change in weather, plus the bathtub, made it very easy to revert to my nook in the corner of the L-couch and hibernate for some time.

This morning was funny, as I attempted to get a sandwich for my train ride. The woman squeezed the sandwich I pointed out with her little tongs, and as she did such and air lifted it to the counter below, cucumbers and tomatoes went flying up. She started wrapping it and I thought, "I can't believe she's going to give me that one now." But she took that wrapped one and tossed it aside. Attempt #2: As she goes in for the kill with her right hand, she sneezes and covers with her left. "I can't believe she's going to give me THAT one." And I wish I could say there was an Attempt #3, but to my dismay, she wrapped that sucker up and forked it over. Siiiiick.

But the most important thing about this week was that it was the first time I let my big sister take care of me in a while. Thanks, sis.

One of Those Weeks

2006-10-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

When we discover something is missing, our initial human reaction is, "I didn't do it." No one ever wants to admit they have done something wrong. They've messed up. They don't have their act together. Well, I've done wrong, messed up, and I am just as messed up as any other. And...I had no idea.

Yesterday my wallet vanished. At this moment, I am still unclear if it has been stolen or lost. At this point I am leaning towards stolen--unfortunately. It is disturbing to me if this is the case. It actually makes me sick in the stomach and I've had that "lump" in my throat for a good 36 hours now. I feel uneasy. The subway and the JYM building were the only places I was in between "seeing it last" and realizing "I see it no longer." Normally when people bump in to me, I think they are trying to take what I have away from me. Yesterday I remember a distinct moment on the subway where I was hit and I thought, "Okay Karen, you are PARANOID."

I don't like hearing over and over that I shouldn't keep things in my backpack. People have been doing a fantastic job of making me feel like I was utterly ignorant and not thinking, as if advertising the contents of my bag. Everyone always has answers like that when they're not the victim/one at fault (TBA). The funny thing is, I have been searching for a large purse bag thing for when I go to class, because I DON'T like carrying my backpack! But, that particular day, I had to be gone from about 8:45-4:30 and not all my books were going to fit in that stupid canvas bag I pretend is a purse. I opted for the backpack.

I have been blessed with people who have taken care of things I need to assist me. I even needed to borrow a lightbulb BECAUSE MINE BURNT OUT yesterday, too! Ughhhh. Man, you really realize what it's like to be out of the light after you've been in it--I mean that two-fold. Let's see what else has happened that's been strange this week...hmmm...hot wax splashed on my face, Timo ripped my shirt yesterday when we were playing, didn't find the Kommunikation class I needed, Germans listened to techno conveniently on the night I was exhausted and had to get rest for my test the next morning (aka the day of the wallet incident). haha. I still have faith it can turn up tomorrow when I call the number for lost wallets. Yes, there is a number. If you are someone who prays, and if my wallet has simply dropped out of my bag or something, would you pray that it fell into the hands of someone who will do the "right" thing? (Funny how we all know what that is)

Not sure what else to share today. I feel extremely bad that this wallet thing has happened, because of how it affects others. You can tell I'm sad, can't you? I am. It's been a tough week. I challenge you, if you have someone to come home to, to be grateful, and to enjoy that somebody's company. I am really not looking for empathy; I'm merely proposing you see your life differently today, tonight. And if all goes well--tomorrow, too.

2006-10-22T00:55:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it out of my first week of class alive. I've got to say, no matter where you are on the globe, school is still school, and it's not exactly dreamy. I feel overwhelmed by the workload because classes typically meet one time a week, and when you are passive-aggressive like myself, it is tough to work with all that "free" time in the week and to accomplish one's given tasks. During my class on Friday, which teaches us more about the structure of German education in the university, Hans-Peter drew a hilarious graph representative of the highs and lows we'll experience this year. He warned us about it getting cold really soon, and becoming darker, and this low was so low that he extended his chalk line PAST the chalkboard and just kept drawing a huge line on the wall! All mouths were laughing. He makes anything and everything entertaining.

Speaking of laughter, that same Friday on the way to class, a bunch of JYMers were walking together and I was just being a little crazy and enjoying the morning. I was laughing really loudly (sort of a Karen-cackle laugh), and all these construction workers totally mocked me! The nerve. I just sort of threw my hands up in the air and, while laughing, yelled back to them, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH LAUGHING?!?" People always gotta rain on your parade, you know? What a shame!

Babysitting is going well. The family asked me to work on Friday, too (normally I just come in Thursdays), and I accepted. I always play these goofy games with the kids that they make up, which means I never understand the rules and I am forced to go with the flow. It's always confusing to me whether or not I should prove to them that I do speak german. Not "prove it"-prove it, but it kicks my self-esteem when other people I meet through them think I am this total foreigner who doesn't know a lick of german. This story probably isn't making sense to you right now. Basically, I am a little torn inside because my job--what I was hired to do--was to speak english with them while watching them. That's how I am. That's how I feel I have been raised at least; this is the job I agreed and am expected to do, therefore, this is the job I WILL do. Simple, isn't it?

Last night was awesome. I hung out with Rachel, Josh (JYM), Adam (JYM alumni), and Will (umm...soccer player). We had a great time making lasagna together from scratch in Adam's flat, playing frisbee outside in the dark, and just talking until a late hour. It was a beautiful October night; the kind where as long as you're running around a bit, you're not one bit cold in a t-shirt. The stars were GORGEOUS and I just found myself stopping, staring in awe of them over and over. We were outside of Munich, so there were fewer lights to pollute the view. Just gorgeous.

Okay, back to the homework...

Room; for Improvement

2006-10-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

Hi there. How are you today?

So I will first admit that today has been frustrating. We began classes today, and the two I had really weren't anything special. I couldn't seem to concentrate and focus. I seem to be having more frequent and more intense headaches here and I also do not wake up well-rested, which really affects my days (as I'm sure such symptoms affect your days. And all of Lynn's for the last seven years).

I am rather unhappy with the place I live. I don't understand how such a tiny place gets dirty, and things get out of place, in such a shortened amount of time. Plus, there are some fruit flies hanging around here and I don't understand where they've come from. It makes me feel like I'm doing a poor job of keeping things clean, yet I feel I am, and have been, trying so, so hard to make this a quaint and cozy home for me.

But, on a much, much brighter note, I had an amazing weekend at my retreat! It was at this place called Wort Des Lebens--Word of Life. We stayed in a small castle on Starnberger See, about 40 kilometers or so from Munich. I loved meeting other women and it's so fun to have found an international church. People's stories are incredible; and they are from all over. England, Scotland, Ireland, South Africa, America, Canada, Germany, Nigeria...you name it, I'm sure that land is represented. It's a true testament to God revealing Himself to all nations.

I forgot to share something hilarious with you last week. Rachel and I went to this 24-hour place (VERY RARE TO FIND IN GERMANY!) which has tons of different food selections, cafes, etc. We were enjoying our cappucinos over a cute candle-lit table and not long after, a small number of musicians set up and entertained the whole place with some lovely melodies. And, not long after THAT, german couples were springing up left and right doing the WALTZ in their jeans and sweaters with such delight in their faces! It was so fun to see! That would never ever happen in the U.S. People don't even really know how to dance "real" dances in America, do they? Maybe I'll start a dancing movement upon my return. It was just special to see men actually asking ladies to dance, seeing both sides of couples smiling and truly enjoying themselves, while knowing full well that such fun is more than socially acceptable.

I hope you are well. The pics above are just a few from the retreat.

Been a Month

2006-10-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

Well, it's October 12, and I left the twelfth of September. Time is still an issue for me here, because I don't really grasp the concept anymore. I feel I should have learned more German by now. Someone might argue I've learned more than I know; I might agree. But for the time being, I sort of feel like I'm waiting and waiting for some "full time German" switch to go on in my head. Ironically, my "real" classes OFFICIALLY begin Monday, October 16. I may be eating my words soon about waiting for things to happen, but it's been nearly six months since I've sat in a classroom and it feels pretty strange to me!

Last Friday our group went to Zugspitze, the highest mountain peak in Germany. We got an awesome workout from all the hiking and it was soooo beautiful. I took pictures, but even as I was taking them I thought..."there's no way to even capture this--why am I even trying?" I enjoyed the opportunity to know other students better from my program because we had lots of time to talk on the bus ride, or talk as we walked, or talk over massive amounts of ice cream. It's fun for me to learn about everyone and why they are here; what this trip means to them.

A week ago I registered for all my JYM classes. As I sat with Hans-Peter, our director, he sat with my application to the program in front of him. While he was looking at it again, with me there, he was like, "Ohhh YOU'RE this one..." It turns out he really liked the wording and things I was saying in the answers to my application and said that it stuck out to him. He then realized I was also a Strategic Communication major, and got up from his seat to get this yearbook-looking book. As he flipped the pages through it, he quite obviously hinted that he wants to know if I would take on this JYM project. I was flattered and accepted the offer. I don't know what I've gotten myself into, but he seemed pretty excited that I had.

This weekend I'm going on a women's retreat at Starnberd See (a lake), and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm hoping for nice weather and the opportunity to meet older women from church. You never know what might happen; only "time" will tell.

Walt Disney Had Good Taste

2006-10-05T05:52:00.000-07:00

Yes, I did it. We did it. Rachel and I took our first adventure, south of Munich, to Füssen, Germany near Neuschwanstein (the castle Walt Disney used as inspiration for his Disney World creation). We didn't even know where we were meeting at the central train station--we simply decided to go, packed one backpack, and headed out to try and find each other.

After a two-hour ride, we arrived at a rather scenic view, and for the first time (this trip) got a true glimpse at the mystery of the Alps. With no agenda we freely meandered around the village and came across a quaint cafe, whose desserts in the display window lured us in. They were called "Schneeballen," or "snowballs." They were magnificent creations of several flat cookies rolled into a ball, then dipped in various toppings. We went with the white-chocolate-nougat one, and each enjoyed a cappuccino. Most things were closed, despite it being a Tuesday, because it was a national German holiday. We were fine with that--we needed to find a place to sleep, anyway.

I'd asked a nice woman at the cafe if she knew where the hostel was, and she gave us the name of it. Off we went in search for the Jugendherberge. It was getting darker as we walked, and though it took a while, we eventually found it. After waiting 20 minutes for a staff person, we found out no rooms were available. We were not too concerned about it, because we'd prayed much earlier in the day, and instead we just asked if the guy could recommend some other place. We set off to find another place. We would not have known to stop at the gated driveway if the Australian couple, Michael and Amy, hadn't stopped us in our tracks and with their accents said, "The owner's crazy."

We went in, and after taking off our shoes and putting on the slippers provided, we met Irmie--a frail, old German woman with vigor and quite decent English. Rachel and I were surprised when we didn't have to pay the second we got there. The first question was whether we wanted coffee or tea the next morning. She showed us to our room, which was a triple though she gave it to us as a double. And it was...hilarious. Irmie clearly loved to collect things, judging by the massive doll collection, iron collection, and the you-name-it-it-was-there collection...The dolls were terribly freaky, but we laughed about it. After killing a giant daddy long leg, Rachel and I changed and set out for some dinner. (For those who know this odd fact about me, the key to our room was a skeleton key, and I was realllllllllllly excited about that.)

Though most places were closed, we were patient and ended up at a great restaurant. We each had a delicious turkey dish, a Radler, cappuccino, and split this apple dessert between the two of us. After staying there for a good hour or two, we headed "home" and went to our bibles because we're reading the same things together. It was such a good conversation we were having, and we learned so much that night. We actually didn't even want to go to bed--it was one of those nights when you're lying there in the dark, as if at a sleepover, and thoughts keep popping into your head and you HAVE to say them. I would guess we said "goodnight" to each other at least five times before we actually meant it.

Promptly at 08:00, Irmie had prepared a beautiful array of different rolls (sweet and non-sweet), meats, cheeses, jam, honey, butter, coffee and orange juice with sugar-rimmed glasses. I liked how Irmie said sister...Schister. She was number 11 of 14 children. The milk she brought old was chunky and nasty, and when the four of us told her, she insisted on taking all of our coffees away from us and proceeded to act out the bodily functions that might occur if we had consumed such nasty milk. Needless to say...Irmie got quite the laugh out of me--really, it was because she made farting noises with her mouth.

Post-breakfast, we headed out to the bus which took us two miles to Neuschwanstein. We decided to walk up the large hill/small mountain and brave the 40-minute walk; we made it in 15. After taking pictures of the castle while we waiting for our tour to begin, we finally got to see the inside. It was quite beautiful inside. The king had his own room to pray in, and his own chair for reading the bible in...I thought that was interesting. After our tour it was 11:30, but time was going fast! We had only 1.5 hours until our train departed from Füssen, and we had several things on our agenda: get to this bridge for a good picture taking opportunity, make the bus at 11:40, get more Schneeballen to eat, and find our way back to the train station.

That next hour or so was so exhilarating--we ran uphill, carrying our heavy backpacks, to the bridge. Snapped some quick photos, ran down to the bus which took us to the village. Then we RAN to the bus to try and make it at 11:40. We had faith the bus would be there. As we turned the corner it was the moment of truth....and the bus was....THERE! We ran up to it, panting, and I asked the driver (who was laughing at us) how long it would be until the bus left. "Fünf Minuten." Ha. Not only was it there, but we had five minutes to spare and catch our breath.

We even got to satisfy our sweet tooth and gain back the calories we worked off from running like mad. It was a fantastic 36 hours and everything worked out...as we knew it would.

Judging Books

2006-10-02T00:33:00.000-07:00

I woke up abruptly in the middle of the night to my German Frommer's Travel book falling five feet to its death, landing directly onto my stomach. It was so bizarre, and one of those moments where I must have reacted so quickly to this happening that it actually seemed I was conscious before the fall of impending doom. Needless to say, I took it as some what of a hint that maybe I should really go somewhere, plan SOME trip, because I don't have another obligation until Thursday (and even that is only for 15 minutes).

The pictures are of Oktoberfest last night. The first is me and my dinner; the second, me and my new friend Rachel! A bunch of us went after church because it's seriously a one- or two-minute walk from the fest. I failed to listen to me, and instead trusted the internet regarding weather for that day. "Sun? Seventy-six degrees Fahrenheit? Sounds good to me!" Too bad it ended up being overcast, cold, and...rainy. Man, was I chilly.

Rachel and I had met in the morning at Marienplatz and walked around looking for some brunch. We found a great spot with slow service, which ended up being most conducive to our needs to tell each other more about our lives while eating foccacia, florentinos, and pear torte. It's still taking some getting used to with so many stores being closed on Sundays--even restaurants. I often wonder what America would do. Actually, now that I think of it, I bet the first reaction would be from non-religious folk who temporarily cease mocking people of faith long enough to argue, "shouldn't 'we' get that off as a holy day???" Ha.

But seriously, it's such a different pace of life here. You're never ready for the slower parts; never ready for the quicker ones. Saturday I was shopping for groceries and at 6 pm, bells sounded and everyone had to pay for whatever they had and get the heck out of there. When I returned home I made some dinner, which I was excited to eat because I had successfully accomplished one fear of ordering meat at the counter. "200 gram, bitte." Two hundred ended up being too much, so I asked her to take away half of it. It was just some thinly sliced ham, no big deal. Well, I did what most people like me would do WHILE they're making dinner--eat, of course! So I ripped off a big slice of meat, tossed it in my mouth to taste of its deliciousness, and then swallowed somewhat timidly. I thought to myself..."Karen, you just need to get used to it; it's a little slimy but just get over it." No, cooked meats shouldn't be slimy. Yes, I had chomped on raw meat.

Earlier that day, something else happened I wasn't prepared for--I never expected I'd fall in love here...but...the truth is I have. The name? KARE. Yes, a large resemblance to my own. Where did we meet? Oh, just on the street. I was walking by, and couldn't help but stare. Finally I went into the store, and discovered it was meant for me. I have been describing it as Urban Outfitters meets IKEA. It's just...stuff. Beautiful things to decorate homes with. Dishes. Artwork. Little books and such. For several moments I was quite sad. Sad because I was having feelings towards a store. Sad because I can't buy anything there to really enhance my Munich home. And even more sad because when I decorate my own first home, I won't be able to shop at KARE.

Off I go, into the day. I hope you are well and in good health. Finally, my wish is that the meat you eat today is actually ready to be eaten.

2006-09-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

It's about that time again. I've given you a few days off from me; I think you needed it, yes? I must say my confidence has been boosted in the last days. No, not drastically, but no progress concerning advancement of a language will ever be drastic. It, like all things, is a process.

I successfully returned an item at a store and got my money back (sorry, Dad! you already heard this story!). I was timid about it because the way to say it just seems so blunt. One of my struggles with the German language is that I always am translating in my head what the english equivalent is--always. It's hard not to when you are a person who loves to understand and be understood. When things are literally translated, I always feel I'm being impolite. That is how Germany is though. There really isn't any "fluff", if you will. But anyway, I was returning curtains that had nothing wrong with them, I just did not prefer the color once I got home. I was scared that reason wouldn't cut it. But alas, it did. I then searched for some cloth, because I have a vision and I want to paint on it. I found something, but surely there was another challenge--I needed to have it cut to the size I wanted it to be. There was no cutter lady, so I asked another shopper where we go, and she said she'd go find out. Eventually, a lady came up to me and helped me and asked how much I wanted, thus presenting yet another challenge. How much, in meters, did I want? (I didn't know!) So I said I need enough to cover a door, asked what she thought, and then I proposed two meters. She was nice enough to measure a door for me then. Yep, two meters it was. Three interactions with Germans + no suspicion of being a foreigner = one happy Karen.

I have also had my first babysitting job, and it went quite, quite well. The kids are energetic and seemed to enjoy me being around. I hate being compared to other babysitters, but they wanted to play the game they made up with their last American babysitter...I went along with it, of course. I think it's going to be so beneficial for my understanding of the flow of conversation, because when Emily and Timo play together, they usually speak in German. Yes, my job is to speak English with them, but I can't make THEM speak English to each other. So it's fun for me to hear real German coming out of these little mouths. Many times I think, "wow, these kids are so smart! They can already speak GERMAN!!!" But...that's me forgetting that's their native tongue. The fact that so many languages exist really boggles my mind every day.

In the last days I've had some conversations with a few girls about the reality that we live in Germany. (Truly I do. That's what my passport says!) It's fascinating to see what is revealed to you about yourself, others, and America in such an incredibly short duration. Today I kept my mind busy with the hypothesis that knowledge and time are relative. To all of you at home, I have no concept of what the last 17 days has felt like for you. But for me, it truly feels I've been here months and months. The reason I pull knowledge into this equation is because I have had to learn and live vital things to survive. Yes, I say survive. My knowledge has thus expanded tremendously, therefore time has progressed at an insanely fast rate. This, in turn, falsely allows me to maintain the assumption that my time here feels nothing close to two and a half weeks. (Sorry if I've lost you. Sorry if this does not make sense.)

The greatest tragedy and disappointment in being here is the moment when you realize that people, no matter where you go, are still people. I could talk for days about this. In short, you could go back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Things like food, sleep, water, etc., are all basic needs which must be addressed before all others. In this list, I will add to Maslow's findings MAN'S NEED TO HIT ON INNOCENT WOMEN. Yes...it happens here too. But it's much worse. The other day I walked alone, in the middle of the day, around the University. From behind I was approached by a guy who urgently said (german), "excuse me, can i ask you a question?" --yes-- "what's your name?" --(laughs) karen-- "oh, I'm Demietri. You and me are going to go to a cafe now and drink coffee. Then you'll give me your number and we'll see each other tonight." --(laughs) No.-- "You don't drink coffee?" --No.--"Why not?" --My German's not so good.-- "Neither is mine, I'm Russian! We can practice together. Just tell me if you don't want to." --No. I don't want to.-- "Come on, we've been walking all this way together. Just tell me if you don't want to." --No. I have a boyfriend.-- "That's okay! I have LOTS of girlfriends!" -- No. (English-->) I'M NOT INTERESTED!--

And then he finally left me alone...finally. For several moments, I did not think that he would.

While running through the fog today, I acknowledged a metaphor coming to life--the same one I'm learning more and more about each day. I'm being taught what it really looks like to be living for t-o-d-a-y. Not in a secular way; not in a existentialist way. Just in terms of only taking on what I can see in front of me (like the path on a foggy day). "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." How true...

2006-09-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm going to make a confession. Mom, are you sitting down? I...like...doing...dishes. There--I said it. Don't hold it against me. But for some reason, I thoroughly enjoy it as of late. Every day I try to make myself understand that these white walls in front of me, this little sink around the corner, and the bathroom that Lynn said looks like it should be found on an airplane, are all part of my temporarily permanent home. It is my nature to constantly look for ways to improve things. I'm always asking myself what could be more functional around here. I'm constantly rearranging. I didn't bring much with me to hang on the walls, which I'm disappointed about because I like having things to look at. Tomorrow I shall search for more things to make my stay here more of a "stay".

Tomorrow I will meet Karen, the mother of two children I will babysit for this year. My job is to speak english with them for a few hours, once or twice during the week. Hopefully I can use the money I'll make to fund my obsession/liking with mail and the post office.

I started a new module today in class; Universität. I'll be learning more about the way the university functions and already it sounds much different than our system. Lena, my teacher, asked what we're concerned about, and I am concerned about not understanding what's expected of me. Sometimes I don't even understand what I'm supposed to do in English...we'll see how that goes. But seriously--you know how professors can be. They always have accents and weird dialects, no matter where you are. We've been told the first two weeks will be quite difficult. She promises things will get better...that's what everyone likes promising, don't they?

The pic is me at the top of Alte Peter Kirche. It's 306 steps up (Grandma D., I thought of you climbing the steps!) I paid one euro to get a really good quad work out! It's so nice to see the city as the birds do. Munich is quite a lovely city. It's a place where tradition meets style. Where real butter and sugar are used in dishes. A place where if you're standing on a bike path, the biker will undoubtedly accelerate toward the place your two feet stand.

2006-09-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

I don't know how I EVER thought my life was exciting before I let God be part of it.

Today was so awesome. I didn't even leave my room until 3:15 in the afternoon to head to church but managed to have an incredible day. I, and others, have been praying I'd find one good friend here. Well, today we met! Her name is Rachel and she is an aupair. She also felt called to be in Germany this year, and will be here until June (I'm here til July). Our stories are quite similar and so are our interests. I'm so excited! It is such a beautiful thing to watch God's plans unfolding in front of your eyes. I can honestly say my life has never more of an adventure than it is at present, and I love the confidence and reassurance that this is the rich depth my life will have now and always.

I ran, literally, from the U-bahn ride with Rachel to my apartment because I had dinner plans with Christianna. She had set the table, made fresh salad and rye bread with cheese, carrots, arranged some cookies in a bowl for us...it was so cute. I made the spaetzle and gravy. I prayed for our food and then we had a meaningful conversation, in German, about life and Jesus. She is Greek Orthodox, and it's really neat to hear about her relationship with the big JC, because she totally has one. We talked about how unfortunate it is with the different rifts in religions; how everyone is convinced they are right. We discussed how the problem with "the church" (the problem people fail to see) is man; it's not GOD who is the problem! Haha. Aghhh so true. God is so good, and no man will ever convince me otherwise.
---------------------
On a different note, I wanted to share my love again for the Englisch Gartens. When I am there, I honestly feel I am walking inside a George Seurat painting. I'm dead serious. It's like Mary Poppins, when they step into that painting and get to ride the horses. (I think it's a painting? Not sure. And by the way, people don't ride horses in the gardens--I'm just making a parallel.) You can just tell by looking at anyone you pass on the pathways that they love the gardens too. It's quite a special place in the world. Quite.

We's Went to za Wies'n

2006-09-23T04:14:00.000-07:00

Who'd have thought a snapshot of Oktoberfest could ever be so beautiful?

We went. We danced. We sang. But most importantly...we made it out alive. I shouldn't even mention the crowds, seeing as how Oktoberfest is the largest fest in the world. Man oh man, it was such organized chaos. Lynn and Stefan visited me Thursday until Saturday morning, and we had a nice two days of eating, walking around the city, speaking Engleutsch, and experiencing true Bayern culture.

I gave both Lynn and Stefan one of those heart cookies that you wear around your neck, usually given by a significant other or special friend. I knew what Lynn's said when I bought it--her's meant Think Of Me. But Stefan's on the other hand, I didn't know but I bought it anyway. The second word looked like it said Diene, and I thought that had something to do with serving. So I thought everything was cool. But sure enough, a few moments after we said our hellos and exchanged hugs, Stefan asked me if I knew what his meant.

Me: No...tell me.
Stefan: It means "horny bee."

Ooooooooooops!

I suppose that set the tone for the rest of our time together. As I shared my story about Julia and I getting stuck on the u-bahn (while the three of us rode), it happened...again. We got stuck! And speaking of stuck, guess whose face got stuck in between the closing u-bahn doors...Stefan! (There's a picture of him with hard evidence of the tragic incident.)

Thursday night's Oktoberfest trip wasn't too successful because we couldn't get a seat in a tent. It was too bad, too, because Lynn and I had worn our dirndls. Friday night however, we were approached by two young German men named Manuel and Max, who asked if we wanted some of their nuts. (Auf Deutsch...you know, those good roasted almonts or hazelnuts.) I just started laughing because that's what I do. I couldn't quite understand Manuel because he was speaking quickly, but I did understand that he kept telling Max, "sie lacht! sie lacht." (she's laughing!) Not before long, we decided these were decent people. Stefan approved. It worked out in our favor, because Manuel knew someone inside one of the tents. A guy came out to our group, put out his hand and said, "you're from Chicago? Come with me." I looked back and said, "No no, I'm not going if they're not going." Then I look back at our group and they were all like, "Gooo!!!"

So Nemo took my hand and led me into the big tent. It was actually quite hilarious from my two eyes because it was like we were VIP, German style. We completely got to bipass a huuuuge and crowded line and just waltz right in there. One by one, Nemo led us in the tent, and the five of us enjoyed each other's company.

It was so nice to have two guests with me; especially ones who are, or feel like, family. It's been tough to meet real Germans, too, so I'm glad we at least got to meet some "real" people and get an authentic taste of their culture. Classes went fine this past week. Even though we did current events and politics-two subjects I don't even like in English-I survived.

Also, for those who may be wondering, I received an e-mail yesterday congratulating me, saying that I have officially been accepted into the Strategic Communication major. I passed my test. So that's what's new. Sorry this has been such a random post. That's what happens when I don't get the chance to write for a few days. Wait just kidding, I'm always random.

Can't sleep

2006-09-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

(ooooohhhh jjjjaaaaaa!)

Good evening. Good morning. Good day. Good afternoon. Good thing there's no expression that will ever work for us both at the same time...not.

I can't sleep. It's almost 2 am and I'm wide awake. Sometimes I think it's fun when you wake up like this, but other times, you just think "oh great, tomorrow's going to be even rougher than I thought." I tried calling home today but both Mom and Dad were at work I think...it's sad not to know when the best time to reach them is.

I was just having a dream where I saw this girl on the subway wearing a WWJD bracelet, carrying a bunch of groceries. We were riding in the same direction for a while and I wanted to talk to her but didn't know how or what to say, and if I should go with german or english. It frustrated me, and then she was gone. And I think I imagined her bracelet, like the oasis phenomenon--when one envisions what one hopes for, though it is actually absent.

On a new thought--I was saying to someone the other day that this experience is really a just a greenhouse for growing up. Let's be honest here, I really and truly am living on my own for the first time. Financially speaking, I am supported. But when I got to thinking about this (I've been thinking much about this concept!) I concluded that no one ever really starts from scratch, and we ALL, to some degree, are/were supported by others financially. No one homeless could claim to have started and "done everything on their own," because quite frankly, it was a collaborative effort of those who threw coins his way that got him started. Same for heirs, on a much larger scale, but same concept--they just had large checks thrown their way. Okay so I'm rambling, but what I'm saying is...I am living on my own for the first time ever.

There is no Brittany or Maddy to come home to like last school year. There is no Martin Dining Hall where I swipe my Miami ID and get food for nothing. Nope. None of that. I cook for one, come home to none, and this little piggy cried all the way home. (Well, I only cried on my way home the first night. I just rhymed earlier so I wanted to finish the song for you.) Cooking for one is NOT something I enjoy. Maybe it's because my hips are practically wider than my kitchen, and there's just no space (oh yeah, there's not much food in there either...).

We were really thrown into this whole experience. Nothing you could do could ever prepare you. You can't hit the ground running. You just can't. I am frustrated most often by not knowing the procedure for things to be accomplished--who you go to, what you do, what you need. I suppose it's the same as in the states. In general I hate "not knowing" and I am always wanting more answers from this life.

Might I also add a word about American convenient stores? Yes, let me tell you about them. Let me tell you how perfectly they are named....C-O-N-V-E-N-I-E-N-T. Do me a favor, and the next time you just want some tape or something and you hop into your car at 9:47pm to pick up a few random items, DON'T GET MAD. Don't you dare think thoughts of frustration! Because let me tell you how convenient things are in America....QUITE. Things close way early here, and I don't even KNOW where to go to buy tape (for the record, that's my fault, not Germany's).

One thing I realize about myself every time I write is that I don't want to stop. Sometimes I'd rather write everything than talk. I'm sorry the pictures aren't up from the last post, but they were all sideways when I tried and I thought that because you're American, you might complain about having to turn your head 90 degrees (just kidding). Ha. You know what? I am always hungry. But I feel like all I do is eat here. What's wrong with me? Too bad it's not good to eat late, otherwise I'd be feasting on ummm....bread....and cookies....and a garlic clove.....right now. After all, that's essentially the extent of my fridge and cabinet.

I'm gonna stop myself from writing now because if I don't, I'll never stop. If you pray at all, please pray that tomorrow I'm not as exhausted as I predict I'll be... I need energy, mentally and physically. Danke sehr.

2006-09-19T05:41:00.000-07:00

2006-09-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

I finally have homework again. Man, it feels weird to say that. I've gone so long without it, it's like I don't even need it anymore.... :)

After our first class session today, Julia and I searched for a post office but wound up finding a cafe instead. Two lattes, please. We went around and got some groceries, some cheap toilet paper, paper towels, then went on a search for fruit and veggies and bread. Our bags were really heavy and we were just dead tired from walking around and shopping for three hours. Three hours of trying to read grocery items and figuring out whether or not 5,75 euros is too much to pay for olive oil.

We finally made it to the u-bahn, weak and unfed. Everything was fine and good, no problems...then all of a sudden at one of the stops--and before Julia and I even realized it--all other passengers were OFF the u-bahn, and STARING at us through the window. We're like..."what's up with them? why are they always staring at us?" Until we realized....EVERYONE WAS SUPPOSED TO GET OFF because the u-bahn was going back to hibernation! We were freaking out because we didn' t know what to do! How on earth could we be so engrossed in our conversation and surroundings that we failed to see everyone else get off?!

The way I handle situations like that is different than Julia. Unlike her, I was cracking up and laughing hysterically. I was trying to be optimistic and I was like, "Well at least we have a bunch of food if we end up being here for a while!" We set down our heavy bags and stuff, not knowing when (or if!) we'd ever leave the dungeon of doom. Let's be honest...we were trapped inside a u-bahn car with no way out.

So I did the only logical thing...prayed. Sure enough, some lady came by about 30 seconds later and set us at ease. She didn't speak english, but we understood that if we just stayed on for a few minutes longer, we'd be taken back to a functional stop. So that's what the pictures are of. Take a nice long look at the u-bahn one, because YOU ARE NEVER SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT LOOKS LIKE THAT, BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET OFF!!!

As if that wasn't enough, once I finally got to my apartment I realized my fresh blackberries were falling out of their bag, staining not only my hands purple, but also my shirt! Ughhh. What a day.

2006-09-17T13:04:00.000-07:00

I began my morning with a run through the Englischer Gartens, just next to the Studentenstadt. They. were. b e a u t i f u l. Incredibly romantic. It's basically just tons of winding, wide trails with nothing but lush green trees on every side, and streams that run throughout. My favorite part was seeing all the couples walking around, who look like they're still in love; and I can't forget to mention all the people who are accompanied by their rather obedient dogs. I just want a dog so I can run around with him in a place so beautiful. I brought my iPod with, but I really couldn't bring myself to listen to anything but the soundtrack of silence. The simple sound of distant voices in conversation and an occasional bark really were just lovely. One could really get lost in those gartens, but I also think on that occasion, one might lose himself willingly.

For lunch, me, Julia, and Christina went to Odeonsplatz and ate outside. My food was soooo good, but it really was just a heart attack on a plate. Veal. Pork. Beef. Mushroom sauce. Spaetzle. and CHEESE! Mmmmmm so fattening, therefore so so delicious. I was throughly disappointed, however, when I asked the server if I could take it home with me, and he said no. They don't have boxes or anything. I don't think that's the case everywhere, but of course, it had to be the case when it was a pricey lunch :(

I broke off from the group around 14:30 to find a church I had done some research on. It's an international non-denominational church in Munich. I had no problem finding it whatsoever, which gave me a good feeling. Once inside, I just took it all in. After the service began, they asked anyone new to introduce themselves if they so chose (seeing as how it's international, lots of new faces are always coming and going). I seized the opportunity and even managed to make the whole church laugh with my introduction. (The service was in English.)

I've got to say, I really enjoyed it. The last song was "In Christ Alone" and I loved that I knew it, although the other hymns were beautiful, too. The woman next to me told me that usually the music is more contemporary; she thought it was good to know that because it was my first time going so I didn't really know what to expect. I really did appreciate that. Music's really important to me, so it made me like the church even more. Everyone was so friendly and I met lots of new faces. They were familiar with the JYM program, and even knew a guy I know two years older from Miami. Pretty neat. The coolest part was meeting someone who lived for nine years in a little town called...ARLINGTON HEIGHTS! noooo wayyy! Yes way. Don't you love irony? It's those kinds of things that happen that make you feel good about where you're at....

I was invited to go out for dinner with some of the MICCers after, and I accepted the offer after making sure someone would lead me to the nearest U-bahn station after dinner. Dinner was good--I ordered Tomaten Salat mit Zwiebeln (tomato salad with onions). I thought there would be something known as LETTUCE in this dish, but to my dismay, the Germans were being literal again and surely, I received exactly what I ordered--a plate of tomatoes and onions.

My first JYM learning experience will take place tomorrow morning. I look forward to really learning the language now. I should mention, I dreamt in German last night! It wasn't long, and it wasn't too intense, but some repairmen barged into my room and asked me about problems I was having in room, auf Deutsch.

Things are getting interesting. Feels like I've been gone for months already... I'm putting up a few pics I took the other day. One is the outside of the JYM office/building. One of some pretty candles inside the JYM window. aaaaand if I find anything else to put up, I shall.

2006-09-16T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well, today's been a good day. I slept well and woke up with no agenda--my favorite kind of day. I set off on my own with my backpack and a map; I intended to get lost but that didn't happen. I headed to Marienplatz, which is where the Glockenspiel is if you're familiar. I realllllly wanted to find a bakery and sit and people watch. There is surely a crowd around here because Oktoberfest began today, so it was a little hectic. Knowing this, I just told myself to keep being patient and I'd find a little place to go eventually.

I ended up finding a little market run by an Italian man named Nichola. I looked around for a bit because I haven't had vegetables for so long and really wanted to get what I needed. There was only one other customer, and when she left, Nichola asked me what I was looking for. Eventually it came out that I'm a student here who has just arrived, and he was very kind to me--very helpful. He showed me around and told me what I could get; he even told me how to make pumpkin soup. I was thrilled to have groceries and even more happy I was treated kindly. Nichola asked my name (then I asked for his, which is why I'm using it!), and he told me to "komm gleich wieder zurück" or "come back soon!" I think I just might.

Next I kept walking down the street and came to this little cafe, which was pretty empty too. The woman greeted me and I said hi back. Then she started pointing to all these strudels and told me what they were, auf English. When I responded, I said it in German and she immediately (in German) said "Oh my gosh I'm sorry, I didn't know you spoke German!" She was cute. So she asked me next whether or not I wanted to sit inside or outside. Guess what I picked....outside. To people watch. I had brought my journal and my favorite book to read. I was inspired to begin my entry in German and explain my day so far. Today, compared to yesterday, the people were soooo much friendlier and responsive.

After that I walked around and around again. Went into a store to buy a dirndl (German dress for women) to wear for Oktoberfest. It was fun to look at all the pretty garments and pretend like I was a native. I think that's why I have a hard time with being here so far--I hate pretending to be someone I'm not, and it's like we are forced to abandon our American identity and adapt a new one so we "fit in." Oh, so is life. Everyone always trying to fit in, and doing whatever they can at all costs. I was doing really well and keeping up with the German, but as the woman helped me more and more, the dialogue became more intense and specific, which revealed my identity! Agh! Haha. It was cool though, she was awesome. I came out of the dressing room and seeked her approval for my dirndl. I needed a small top and a big skirt for my ummm...big butt. It was funny, because when I came out with my skirt on I asked her if it looked alright. After she said it did, I said "ich habe eine große....." (I have a big....) and then I didn't know how to say "butt" so I just slapped my own and she laughed. She told me "Hinten" was the word to use. (Hinten is like saying "behind").

So today's been good. Got some food, did a little exploring, and had positive interactions with natives. My room is taking shape. I took some pics of where I'm at so far...enjoy.

2006-09-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

There's a new post, but for some reasons it's in the archives...twice. Why? Don't ask me, because I can't fix it!

2006-09-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

Backtracking

2006-09-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

So I'm going to go back a bit to tell you how day one went. You should be glad I didn't have internet access for the first 24 hours, because I fear most of you would have read what I had to say and been struck with a sincere concern for my well being. I think I cried about three times, the last being when I cried myself to sleep (Lynn, I got some mascara on the nice white pillow case you made for me! boooo). I was mentally and physically exhausted--not that I'm not now, but when you're traveling like that with time changes, four plane rides, and baggage that weighs more than you, things just don't get easy.

I was extremely frustrated by the fact that I was under the impression I could bring my ethernet cord, plug in to the internet, and say hey to all you fine people. But no. So there I was with no phone, no internet, didn't know where anyone else lived or if they'd be there, no food, no knowledge of my whereabouts....but I had the most important thing with me...God. The first time I went into my room I had no problems with the keys or anything, though they mentioned we might. I thought that was awesome I got right in right away. So then we had to leave for a few hours, and by this time when I came back I was just so broken down and wanted to be away from everyone. I stood outside my door, the same key and lock I faced and conquered initially, but this time it just would not budge. I stood there for what had to be three or four minutes, turning the key left and right, left again, right....you name it, I tried it. Took it out, put it in--nothing worked. I took it out again and on the verge of tears said, "God, help me!" as I put the keys in...and I was in with no struggle at all. That, of course, made the tears fall all over my face. I was reminded of our need for Christ in even the littlest things we do, even though we fail to acknowledge it.

I might add also that one girl did get left behind in London because of her baggage. When we finally saw her again, and were riding trains, we were just having a convo about her getting stuck and everything and she was like, "Well, you know, God provides." I just think it's so funny how a girl who puts her faith in God is the one who had "this terrible thing happen." Too often people think God wouldn't "let bad things happen" to "good people." Adlakfj. She came out of that thing because she had faith, and faith alone.

First one...finally here

2006-09-14T10:54:00.001-07:00

Well, I guess it's hit me now. It didn't even hit me on the plane that I was essentially moving to Germany for a decent amount of time. And, I suppose I still think that in one week I'll be leaving (I even think I've already had enough...). All the flights went smoothly and all my luggage stayed with me. Thank you to anyone who prayed for safe travels!

After we were met at the airport by our JYM people and boarded the bus to StuSta (StudentenStadt), they gave us big pretzels all slimed up with butter (Mom-you'd have loved it), Vitamin tablets for ein bißchen energie (Mom-you'd be happy I took vitamins), and a granola bar thing (Mom-actually, the granola bar has no relevance to you, but I just wanted to say Mom again).

I can't even remember things in chronological order. Since leaving, it has just felt like one giant day. I'm not even kidding, it's really bizarre. I've already been confronted twice by Germans who really want something. The first was an old man with a walker on the U-Bahn who asked me if I could please open the doors for him, and the second was a lunch lady today who was stacking trays and she yelled "MACH SCHNELL!!!" because I was taking too long to grab one.

Oh, did I mention I ate two big pretzels in one day? I think I ate only carbs yesterday. Carbs and salt. Too much salt....I miss fresh fruit and veggies. I contemplated buying some blackberries today, but when I grabbed a plastic container from the bottom of the arranged boxes, the lady selling them started yelling at me (sort of yelling). She had good reason to--I was being ignorant and not even thinking that all the rest might slide down.

Maddy, if you read this, I ate Brot mit Butter und Honig this morning for you! (Bread with butter and honey). I am by far the worst person to be sent anywhere on earth, because of my insane memory in terms of all the things I associate with people. More later, Julia and Christina just came to come get me to eat.

It's almost here

2006-09-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

This is a test! Hope this whole thing works out.