It's about that time again. I've given you a few days off from me; I think you needed it, yes? I must say my confidence has been boosted in the last days. No, not drastically, but no progress concerning advancement of a language will ever be drastic. It, like all things, is a process.

I successfully returned an item at a store and got my money back (sorry, Dad! you already heard this story!). I was timid about it because the way to say it just seems so blunt. One of my struggles with the German language is that I always am translating in my head what the english equivalent is--always. It's hard not to when you are a person who loves to understand and be understood. When things are literally translated, I always feel I'm being impolite. That is how Germany is though. There really isn't any "fluff", if you will. But anyway, I was returning curtains that had nothing wrong with them, I just did not prefer the color once I got home. I was scared that reason wouldn't cut it. But alas, it did. I then searched for some cloth, because I have a vision and I want to paint on it. I found something, but surely there was another challenge--I needed to have it cut to the size I wanted it to be. There was no cutter lady, so I asked another shopper where we go, and she said she'd go find out. Eventually, a lady came up to me and helped me and asked how much I wanted, thus presenting yet another challenge. How much, in meters, did I want? (I didn't know!) So I said I need enough to cover a door, asked what she thought, and then I proposed two meters. She was nice enough to measure a door for me then. Yep, two meters it was. Three interactions with Germans + no suspicion of being a foreigner = one happy Karen.

I have also had my first babysitting job, and it went quite, quite well. The kids are energetic and seemed to enjoy me being around. I hate being compared to other babysitters, but they wanted to play the game they made up with their last American babysitter...I went along with it, of course. I think it's going to be so beneficial for my understanding of the flow of conversation, because when Emily and Timo play together, they usually speak in German. Yes, my job is to speak English with them, but I can't make THEM speak English to each other. So it's fun for me to hear real German coming out of these little mouths. Many times I think, "wow, these kids are so smart! They can already speak GERMAN!!!" But...that's me forgetting that's their native tongue. The fact that so many languages exist really boggles my mind every day.

In the last days I've had some conversations with a few girls about the reality that we live in Germany. (Truly I do. That's what my passport says!) It's fascinating to see what is revealed to you about yourself, others, and America in such an incredibly short duration. Today I kept my mind busy with the hypothesis that knowledge and time are relative. To all of you at home, I have no concept of what the last 17 days has felt like for you. But for me, it truly feels I've been here months and months. The reason I pull knowledge into this equation is because I have had to learn and live vital things to survive. Yes, I say survive. My knowledge has thus expanded tremendously, therefore time has progressed at an insanely fast rate. This, in turn, falsely allows me to maintain the assumption that my time here feels nothing close to two and a half weeks. (Sorry if I've lost you. Sorry if this does not make sense.)

The greatest tragedy and disappointment in being here is the moment when you realize that people, no matter where you go, are still people. I could talk for days about this. In short, you could go back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Things like food, sleep, water, etc., are all basic needs which must be addressed before all others. In this list, I will add to Maslow's findings MAN'S NEED TO HIT ON INNOCENT WOMEN. Yes...it happens here too. But it's much worse. The other day I walked alone, in the middle of the day, around the University. From behind I was approached by a guy who urgently said (german), "excuse me, can i ask you a question?" --yes-- "what's your name?" --(laughs) karen-- "oh, I'm Demietri. You and me are going to go to a cafe now and drink coffee. Then you'll give me your number and we'll see each other tonight." --(laughs) No.-- "You don't drink coffee?" --No.--"Why not?" --My German's not so good.-- "Neither is mine, I'm Russian! We can practice together. Just tell me if you don't want to." --No. I don't want to.-- "Come on, we've been walking all this way together. Just tell me if you don't want to." --No. I have a boyfriend.-- "That's okay! I have LOTS of girlfriends!" -- No. (English-->) I'M NOT INTERESTED!--

And then he finally left me alone...finally. For several moments, I did not think that he would.

While running through the fog today, I acknowledged a metaphor coming to life--the same one I'm learning more and more about each day. I'm being taught what it really looks like to be living for t-o-d-a-y. Not in a secular way; not in a existentialist way. Just in terms of only taking on what I can see in front of me (like the path on a foggy day). "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." How true...